I spent the morning of my 57th birthday inside a college football stadium at my daughter’s college graduation.
Stood upon the field taking pictures thinking about how different life is now from when she was born.
Her birth came two days after dad had a triple bypass. I have vivid memories of calling his hospital room to tell him about his newest granddaughter.
Thought about how much has happened between then and now and how if things had gone differently this past October she might have made her walk without my presence.
Stood there and thought about how having learned how to dance in the fire and all the experiences as a storm walker has served me.
Thought about how she had asked me who I wanted to send out graduation announcements to and how I have pruned the list. We’re Strangers With Memories…Now rolled through my head.
One day you’re eating at Kenny & Ziggy’s thinking about how you’d make a good spy because people who ought to recognize you don’t and the next you’re rolling through Fort Worth with a car full of stuff a college student accumulated over their four years.
One More Step On The Hero’s Journey
Life is a hell of a ride. Been thinking about how much has happened since I started the Hero’s Journey and the importance of having been forced to confront certain ideas and reconsider what I wanted and who I wanted to be part of it.
Sometimes you get a gift from people who don’t have the courtesy to be honest and sometimes you get it from those who haven’t the strength.
One of the docs told me that pulling myself off of the floor took exceptional strength and I shrugged my shoulders. He said he thought it was mental toughness as much if not more than physical.
You can connect some of this to what I wrote in It Is The Privilege Of Not Dying and some of it to what I have come up with since then.
There is a fire in my belly that is burning bright and a frustration that I am not back to 100 percent yet.
But I am getting close, sooner or later they’ll figure out what is causing the bleeding and cap that sucker.
The iron infusions will help drive my energy levels back to a place where I consistently feel the way I want to and life will change.
Change because this week I am able to start light lifting with my left arm. Slowly I am working my way back to where I want to be.
I am grateful because things could have been different. Grateful for the chance to do things I love and to plan for new experiences that I think I might.
Facebook birthday greetings were intermixed with emails and texts from dear friends who knew me back when and some who have recently joined the crew.
The silence from some areas was expected and yet there were moments where I knew that others who once walked alongside were thinking of me.
Lifted my face towards the stars, eyes closed and smiled as I thought about how you never know who you will meet upon the road.
Some you expect to be there forever will walk away and some you thought forever gone will return.
Some you never anticipated to be a part will appear and some you thought might show up will continue to live elsewhere.
One of the things I have come to enjoy about the hero’s journey is the joy of the adventure. I don’t chase people but I chase experiences.
People will continue to come and go. If past experience is any guide there is no telling who might reappear or disappear and all we can do is keep walking with our eyes open and see which partners make it to the emerald city.
Must be about 40 years now since I took my last Yiddish class, but I still remember Dr. Singer saying די צײַט איז דער בעסטער דאָקטער/ time is the best doctor.
Got lots of other thoughts and ideas I could share now but not enough time to get into them now, maybe I’ll hit them tomorrow.
57, used to sound really old but now not so much. Definitely don’t look or feel like I am 25 but I don’t feel old either.
This adventure is one hell of a ride.
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