A few more fans slipped into my DMs or found other ways to tell me to pray they don’t find me or to promise karma would catch up to me for being a “Zionist.”
I rolled my eyes at one who suggested that if I gave it up and became a ‘Good Jew’ I would be safe. I am not dumb enough to buy that and if I were I would think that Bondi Beach might have woken me up.
Or maybe the firebombing of Governor Shapiro’s house, the firebombing of Jews at Boulder or the two Jews murdered at the Capitol Jewish Museum.
Or maybe I’d just think about how the Nazis marched my Great Great Grandmother and Great Aunt into the forest and murdered them after forcing them to dig their own graves.
Nah, I don’t buy their nonsensical arguments or listen to people who think it is ok to murder Jews in Australia because they’re angry with Israel.
Their moral bankruptcy and or lack of self awareness about the hatred they carry isn’t my problem. It is theirs.
Besides, if you are among the long time readers you know that in October I lost about half my blood and the paramedics had to take me to Baylor, Scott & White in Grapevine.
I am very comfortable saying I almost died that night, I am very comfortable in saying I wrestled with the Angel of Death and he lost.
He’ll get me one day, but not yet.
I Am Not A Hero
I am not a hero, I am a man approaching middle age or maybe well into it. But I love that scene from Man of Steel because I never stop testing my limits. I never stop pushing, to see if I can go a little bit harder and a little bit farther.
But because I am not 25 anymore my training sometimes feels a bit more like I am emulating Rocky in Rocky 6.
I can see and feel my body changing. See the cuts return from their hibernation, lift weights that I thought I might have left to my 30 something year old self and wear clothes again that haven’t fit in a while.
Got a long way to go, but I am consistent and consistency is what leads to progress. Should have started long ago but I can’t turn back time and am glad I did start.
Because as I keep writing and speaking about the work I put in is why I am here today. Those of you who have heard the story about the night they took me in know I have never done anything harder physically than what I did that night.
I think about it as a second chance and feel grateful because I know too many contemporaries who didn’t get that.
They are six feet under and I am not. It would be wrong for me not to take advantage of this opportunity.
It is fair to say this is part of why I don’t worry about the threats. Don’t mistake that to mean I don’t take them seriously because I do. I’d prefer not to have to deal with any of that, but I also know I have a fifth gear I can shift into.
That’s what happens when you lose half your blood and come out the other side.
What bothers me more than anything else about the current nonsense is that my kids are having to deal with chaos that I didn’t.
Got a failing administration in the White House and a wave of antisemitism coming from the left and right. It solidifies why I consider myself an independent but that doesn’t provide more comfort.
It doesn’t make it easier to tell my kids that I didn’t grow up with this kind of chaos. But I also remind them that I am GenX and my generation is pretty damn tough.
We spent countless hours unsupervised and got into all sorts of stuff we probably shouldn’t have.
Sometimes I wonder how more of us didn’t get hurt and think about what we did from a father’s perspective and shake my head.
We were lucky things didn’t go differently for us. But then again I know more than a few stories about people I went to school with who didn’t benefit from that luck.
Every year of high school someone died because of a drunk driver, motorcycle accident or something else.
I know people who died from brain tumors, bike accidents and some who committed suicide. Still can’t figure out if it is normal to know as many people as I who died young, probably could find some statistics on it.
But I don’t feel the need to check on that. I’d rather compile a mental list of things I am grateful for because there are plenty.
Gratitude Is Important
It is easy to make a list of things that are wrong and or people that engage in bad things. Easy to come up with a reason to be worried about the state of the world, hell I shared some of it earlier.
I have a longer list of things to be thankful for and that is where I try to apply my focus.
When I was younger it used to irritate me when people talked about how having a good attitude helped make life better. It seemed like new age bullshit and hell a good part of my forties were very rough.
But I have come to believe in the importance of that good attitude I used to dislike so much. When I stay on top of trying to focus on the positive everything is a bit easier and that is important.
Sometimes you go through periods of life where you juggle chainsaws and bowling balls. Those are rough because you know you’ll drop one and it will be painful but if you keep going it you get through it.
Consistency and tenacity go an awfully long way.
Past Posts
If you need to catch up on your reading here you can try one or all of these.
69 Stories No One Reads Anymore
When The Family Dog Saves Your Life
Death Didn’t Seem Painful Part 2.
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