Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw so I began pushing myself to work out a bit harder and to eat a little bit less.
Felt like I was beginning to make some progress and the pandemic hit and I said goodbye to the gym but did my best to keep up the exercise.
Didn’t have access to the same machines and as many free weights but I had some and had been walking outside in addition to the treadmill/elliptical work.
For a moment I wasn’t sure if I had slipped up and was disappointed in myself so I tried to recommit to the exercise and diet but still felt like something wasn’t working.
Saturday afternoon came and I put on a shirt that I expected to be a little tight but wasn’t and I wondered if I had been working off of a distorted reality.
Wouldn’t surprise me because that is how so many things have felt…distorted and or surreal.
It is hard not to look around at the chaos through different eyes, especially when my dreams have been so crazy.
Had one where I looked into dark eyes, long black hair, long legs and a voice that instructed me to trust my feelings.
Been a long time since I stood at the border of Israel and Egypt. Stood at the Taba border crossing and walked far enough that technically I had to have been standing in Egypt but still no where close to pyramids.
Or at least not close enough to the pyramids we have seen in pictures and film. Too far away to do more than wonder what they look like but not far enough to not have asked the Egyptians I saw for back rent on facilities built by ancestors,
One day I want to see the pyramids and get a chance to look in person upon them and wonder as many others have about how ancient people constructed them.
Hell, walk around the Kotel in Jerusalem, or wander through other parts ancient lands and stare at huge stones and wonder how they were moved and or lifted.
They didn’t have cranes or machinery. Didn’t have superman, Samson or Hercules available to lift and move things.
History intrigues and interests me.
I look back and see ample examples of intelligence and can see how we built upon the inventions and ideas of the past. I look at these things and wonder what the famous folk like Davinci might have done if they had the resources of modernity.
What would the other brilliant minds of the time have done and how many are unknown but would have potentially gone down in history had things turned out differently.
If the Roman Empire hadn’t fallen would our civilization be far more advanced than it is?
Maybe yes and maybe no.
I’ll definitely be back in Israel and maybe one day Egypt too.
Donnie Mac is singing and I am nodding my head along with him as everything he says here is true and I understand it all even if no one else does or wants to admit it.
I don’t know if I am on the road I think I am or if it is parallel or perpendicular to where I intend to go but I am confident I’ll find my way.
Confident because all that I have seen and done tells me this is so and though I sometimes wonder if I see it through a distorted reality I have concluded I am correct.
It may not go as I suspect or hope but it will get me to where I need and want to be.
That might sound ridiculous to some but it works for me and that is what matters in the end. Others are always quick to criticize and or suggest you do as society wants you to do without considering the misapplication of one size fits all.
There are moments to go with traffic and moments to swim upstream, especially if that is how people heal the broken part and or fill the holes.
So there’s no need for turning back
‘Cause all roads lead to where we stand.
And I believe we’ll walk them all
No matter what we may have planned.
