Mr. Floyd accompanies me on a trip through the past, present and into the future where a goal tells me no one can take better care of me and says she can prove it.
Somewhere in the time flow I am asked if I recognize I might get what I ask for and I nod my head yes simultaneously overhearing people speaking about me.
“Be careful, he might hear you and there is no telling what he’ll do.”
A wink and a nod accompany me my finest Cheshire cat grin and I throw the bit, shake off the shackles and go running with the moon.
I am unleashed and those who worried about what I might do are correct to be concerned because the fingers are flying across the keyboard and the free flowing form might as well have sparks flying from it.
“Are you just trying to troll us or do you really believe what you write?
“I am not asking, I am telling you. It is time.”
That smile is making trouble but it has yet to be determined what sort it is.
Those who think they know me best only know parts and pieces and those who know better recognize they might yet know more than they ought or wish to.
But that is the joy of life, living, loving and laughing.
“You can say whatever the hell you want, but I know better. You like talking to me and you miss me.”
The words go flying by and I stare at the man who said them, watching his face and then looking into the dark eyes of the woman he said them too.
“You are insufferable and so is your ego.”
“But it is not unmanageable.”
They laugh and shake their heads and walk down the street leaving those who engage in people watching nothing more than a guess as to what comes next and who they really are.
****
There is an exchange of emails followed by a request to hold questions for later.
The request is ignored as the writer says it is of paramount importance that at least one be answered.
“I really prefer not to discuss it today.”
“And I really prefer to not be ducked or ignored but I am certain now I must be the first that asked it.”
There is no response and so the questioner makes a note that come Monday there will be no ducking or dodging the hammer that will fall.
The lack of response feels disrespectful and irritating but he doesn’t realize a telephone call a few hours later will magnify those feelings a 150%.
He hates the idea of having to grind out five days, but it is not the first time.
Probably posted close to 10,932 words between yesterday and today. Probably posted things that will make people ask for explanations to which they will be told you don’t need to understand.
Somewhere well past midnight I encountered myself as I once was.
The younger version of me is fired up and filled with far too much energy and conviction that the older hasn’t heard nor listened to him.
If I didn’t know better I would be certain the growl that issued from between my lips belonged to a man thirty-five years gone.
And now I know the vein on my forehead is starting to protrude and that the oldest friends would counsel caution because it always serves as an early warning system that a storm is about to break loose.
Push the buttons a little harder and a little longer and you can determine what happens when the bull lowers his horns.
****
In bed, masked up and on fire I can hear myself breathe but the smart remarks, the “talk to me Goose” cuz I sound like a fighter pilot are silent.
I am driving myself back in time, thinking about a variety of moments with intent to reframe things. Got to take the edge off and get some shut eye.
Picture a night at the Keg, nice steak dinner and good Scotch. Picture lying on a beach, drying off after time in the waves, the sun providing a perfect warmth.
Picture getting what you asked for and the possibility of it being 37.5% as good as you hoped for and know you accomplished something not just by luck, but by effort too.
