Should I tell you to start with The Worst Report Card I Ever Received and move on to the Jericho & The Macallan 12?
Or should I try to hook you with Billy Joel’s commentary about Wichita Lineman?
Maybe I should skip those and tell you about a conversation, “Josh, my friend is one of the smartest people I know. Take a look at this and let me know what you think.”
“Your friend is an idiot.”
There is a pause while they wait for the serious look on my face to break because they are certain a mischievous smile will wash across it.
“C’mon, you don’t mean that.”
“I do and I’d tell them to their face and follow up by asking if their mother drank during her pregnancy.”
“Josh, that is one of the rudest things I have ever heard.”
“The truth hurts sometimes.”
Yeah there have been moments in which whatever gifts of diplomacy and gab leave me and blunt isn’t a strong enough description for my verbal skills.
My kids have been told more than once that the worst person to lie to is not their mother or father but themselves.
They know I can’t stomach the idea of trying to fool ourselves into believing the bullshit we might try to feed others.
That doesn’t mean I encourage them to dissemble and deceive others because I don’t but as a general practice I believe our own happiness is tied into being honest with ourselves.
Honest about the way we look, how we feel and what we want to do with ourselves.
Sometimes it is uncomfortable to admit certain things but when we acknowledge them it places us in a position in which we can choose to take or not take action.
Don’t like the way your pants fit?
Adjust your diet and exercise more or accept that you cannot wear what you want.
Don’t like your job?
Figure out a way to move or fix it.
Twirl Me
My daughter doesn’t remember dancing with me to this. She doesn’t remember sticking out her arms for me to pick her up so that she could say “twirl me.”
Nor does she remember nights where I couldn’t get her to sleep without this, but I do.
Sometimes it seems impossible that she was once so small or that she doesn’t remember these things when she was a tiny girl with a mop of curly black hair.
She moves into her future effortlessly and I fight to maintain what time I have. Dig my feet in and push back against time and its effort to age us both.
Not because of vanity about my looks as much as my desire to try to go into the middle and beyond in better shape.
Life and some events have aged me. I don’t just see it, I feel it.
People still misjudge my age but I would exchange it for not feeling so damn old. There are moments where the exercise comes easy and I think maybe I am getting it done, maybe I have wiped away some of the dust and dirt of time.
Maybe I have staved off certain changes and prevented others and then something happens and I wonder if maybe I haven’t.
Can’t give up, I am not good at that. Not good at giving up on anything of importance to me.
Almost Time To Fly
It is almost time to fly, almost time to leave the earth for the sky again.
See you when I complete the first orbit or something like that.
P.S. Your friend is still an idiot. You know who you are.
