Flipping through a variety of songs, some of which I haven’t listened to in years trying to shake off a ghost that has attached itself to my back.
Close my eyes and see myself sitting in an office where they tell me not to bother with English because I won’t get any better at speaking Hebrew if I do.
They make fun of my thick American accent and I give it back to them, daring them to try to say a few lines in English.
“Achi, we’re glad you’re with us.”
Nod my head, answer in Hebrew and ask where we are going today.
Flash forward to the present and smile thinking about my brothers-in-arms and promises made. One day we’ll share a cup of coffee on Dizengoff and talk about the past while looking at our futures.
“Achi, we have got you.”
Memories of mental wards, holding cells and questions about how to fulfill promises made.
Conversations online and elsewhere about current events and whether we ought to be concerned or hopeful.
“Label me if you want, but understand I’m not obligated to agree, accept or wear whatever you try to pin to my back.”
A couple of mouse clicks makes me stomach sink and I wonder if the hole I am standing in has a ladder or a shovel.
What if the former is too short or the latter too small?
Problem solving time is here and concern that a thousand paper cuts might be better described as bleeding from a couple of arteries.
It is unclear what is happening or if the proffered solutions will work as designed and or promised.
Call it a double dose of WTF and wonder.
Two deep breaths to center and focus on the uncertainty of the unknown. Might not be as bad as it looks.
Might be something that can be taken care of with regular needle and thread, but then again it might not.
“Achi, you don’t got me and now I am left behind the lines. ”
*****
Got a 35 mile drive early tomorrow and depending on how it goes another 40 on top of the 35 required to come back.
Mornings are rough sometimes, if there is a time where the body wants to mutiny it is usually then and given the circumstances of the evening it might require some meditation, heroin or time travel to fix it.
No doubt the rain will fall again with a mighty crash and make it easier for the jailor and sailor Sam to follow a trail we’d rather not leave.
But we can’t stay stuck inside these four walls because they don’t provide good cover so we’ll run and be hunted.
Maybe we can make like the Dark Knight and pull off one more trick to prevent the Joker from winning.
