You can call it a bad case of reentry and it happens every time I go from months of bachelor life to sharing a house again.
The noise and chaos are a mix of joyous and shocking.
It is good to know I don’t have to keep eating every meal alone and nerve wracking having to resume sharing certain spaces and decisions.
There is a reminder of choices I have made and choices I might not repeat were I put in a position in which such options existed.
I saw someone I very much need to speak with today and decided I didn’t feel like chasing him.
Decided I was going to let the universe bring us together or keep us apart. Decided I didn’t have it in me to be the one who was going to make certain things happen and said “fuck it.”
If they’re myopic view of things prevents them from seeing the benefits than so be it because today wasn’t going to be the day when I took them by the shoulders and talked sense into them.
Yeah, I would punch a buffalo and a wolf, shark, moose, baboon but not a pug because they are not just ugly, they are pugly.
Didn’t bother telling some people I am done with them because I hadn’t any interest in discussing it.
There was no point engaging in discussions about how or why, no reason to consider any changes because we won’t notice the absence.
Told another that I don’t consider swapping status updates or comments on Facebook to be much of a friendship because if you don’t get beyond surface level what do you have?
Not much.
Had lunch at the Thirsty Lion and was surprised when I got a stabbing pain in my belly.
For a good long while that stabbing pain kept me awake and wondering if this was going to go away or if it was going to cause issues.
It infuriated me because the timing was bad and I didn’t need the aggravation.
Heard someone refer to something and how they “suffered every day for it” and related to it because I have been in that position.
Took some doing to get beyond and there were moments when I wondered if I really had…gotten beyond.
Someone else asked me to describe some people from my past and I told them if you haven’t had real depth with people you missed out.
What Could Or Might Be
Been thinking about what could or might be in a variety of areas and struggling a bit because some of it feels so damn real it makes me wonder whether I have clairvoyance or am just a little bit crazy.
Some say the prophets were madmen and suggest being able to walk in their footsteps is an honorable thing.
Can’t say one way or another if I agree because my head is spinning and my mind is racing in five different directions.
Playing around with writing down what I hear and see because it could make an interesting tale but haven’t decided for certain.
Still mulling over whether to shut this place down and start over under a new name.
It could be interesting to see how far and how fast I can go if I try again.
Might be worth giving it a go or maybe it is better to just adjust, adapt and shuffle here,.
Can’t decide today or tonight because it would be more impulsive than I want it to be based upon. So I’ll wrap this up and go work on figuring some of this other stuff out.
Sometimes it is easy to be covered in gasoline while running through flames and sometimes less so.
