In a different time they might have said, “Hey Mac, take a picture, it lasts longer or something like that” but that is not it went today.
Hell, today they said something that must have encouraged me to move but I can’t tell you what it was. I was lost in a different time and space.
Might have been on a different plane or dimension because of an unexpected moment or maybe more accurately an unexpected reaction to said moment.
I stood at the pump, staring off into the distance feeling like something had reached inside and found a way to make the incorporeal… corporeal.
Cue classical music to paint a picture and drive home a point…poorly.
Confession: The cannons sometimes make me a little crazy. They almost make me want to cry but with joy or sadness who can say.
What Does A Soul Know?
I am sitting in an airport bar listening to a drunk woman tell whomever who will listen to her about how soul mates are real and how awful most men are because we don’t believe or listen.
“Maybe soul mates are real and the problem is not all are meant to last or spend real time with their match.”
She looks at me and tells me that I am a liar and that I need to stop asking what does a soul know and accept it knows more than my head does.
“Yes ma’am, I will remember that.”
“She didn’t mean or want to hurt you.”
I nod and smile at her thinking that will end the conversation but it doesn’t because I respond.
“I wouldn’t know. We never had the conversation.”
“You could, women will always talk.”
“Not always, and not about everything.”
This time the conversation really does end because I get up and walk away. The flight is going to be a few minutes and I need to “shake the weasel” as we used to say in college.
That is part of the joy of pushing 50. Things mostly work but not always with the same precision as they once did.
Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.
Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meetings are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes direction.
Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
Wake Up Or Is He Woke
Earlier this year I was chastised by some neighbors who said “He is risen” to which I replied “Mr Pillsbury or Stay-Puft. No wait, one is a marshmallow character and the other is a yeast beast.”
They told me I was rude and asked me why I would say such a thing.
It led to some back-and-forth during which I asked how they could be so certain they were right.
“Sometimes you just know.”
That made me chuckle.
“I have been saying for years that I know things and if I was questioned I would always respond with I just know.
When the conversation with the neighbors was over they told me they were sorry I didn’t agree with them and hoped that one day I would be woke.
I smiled and told them I was certain I already was and that I had spent ample time thinking about some things so I felt confident.
*****
Last night I spent time thinking about some things and made some decisions based upon those thoughts.
I was angry and disappointed but confident my feelings were solid because of those thoughts.
And then came the moment today and I felt that touch.
You Must Be Brave
There is a conversation in which a certain teenage boy and I talk about bravery.
One in which I tell him there are different types of bravery and explain some of them are easy for me.
When he asks which aren’t I whisper the answer and say I hate the fear that comes with it. We talk about that place by the soul and I mention it is similar to the dark side of the moon.
We only sort of known what lies upon the far side and only the very brave explore it.
“You should be so lucky that you check it out. You should feel and hear its song.”
He asks when I last heard/felt it and I say I don’t know.
****
I am staring off into space lost in thought when I hear someone ask me if I am ok.
“I thought I heard music.”
“There is music playing all over.”
“Not like this there isn’t.”
I step into the car and drive away not realizing what had been playing in my head until much later.
