And we start out singing silently along with Mick stuck for a moment in a memory of a time long ago when I couldn’t have imagined much of the last six months.
Never thought someone would make a comment to me about how I might feel differently if I had survived a near death experience and my correcting them.
“Oh, but I have. I told the ER doc to shut the fuck up and give me the transfusion.”
The edge in voice and a glare that my father would have been impressed by stopped them in their tracks.
But you aren’t here to read about that are you. You’re trying to figure out whether there is a connection between Zionists, hippos and telemarketers because the concept is causing your brain to short circuit.
Maybe you read I Didn’t Die & I Got A Bionic Arm and that made you wonder what else old Wilner can come up with and I am here to tell you there is quite a bit.
Part of why I was so surprised by that whole arm debacle is I put my fist through a wall just short of the elbow. I tore two doors off of an old truck.
I have other feats of strength or bouts of stupidity as some would call them. I have a history of proving that being lucky is sometimes better than any other skill.
But let’s not get into that now, let’s connect the dots between telemarketer and hippo with a story I shared on Facebook once upon a time.
If you tell a telemarketer who calls to discuss the upcoming election that you once got arrested for punching a hippopotamus you might hear him sputter and spit out his coffee.
He might ask you why and how you did such a thing.
You’ll tell him you wanted to star in the latest adventures of Florida man and that you figured it was best do your thing in the zoo.
Wild Florida alligators are dangerous and domesticated zoo hippopotami aren’t.
So you hopped the fence and punched the hippo in the side with all your force. That allows you to confirm that beast is pretty tough and they didn’t notice a thing.
Said telemarketer might follow up by asking if you are a parent and you’ll tell them you have been blessed with the ability procreate.
You’re the father of 27 kids with the help of 11 lovely ladies and you refuse to vote because no candidate is willing to support the free goat milk initiative for kids whose fathers are employed by the GTFO program.
Wonder if they’ll take me off of the list now.
Never More True Or More Important
Got Cat Stevens singing Father & Son and it strikes me how much has changed since I first heard it.
I listen and see myself standing in both positions of father and son. I hear myself saying some of what was said to me and remembering the fire in my blood and snort.
Snort because I still feel that fire.
Sometimes because of memory and sometimes when I hear the response from the younger Mr. Wilner I wonder how my own father didn’t kill me.
I was far more stubborn and hard headed than my own kid.
But then again I listen to him and recognize the path he has chosen is similar in that it is different from what I would have suggested just as my own path was different than my father would have suggested.
Cat moves to Gordon singing If you Could Read My Mind and I smile because I stand in my own power again.
Took a minute to figure out what was so beguiling and confusing but I got there. I hear Gordon sing about being in a castle dark or a fortress strong and I smile because I freed myself from the chains about my feet.
Had a few more people call me a Zionist with a sneer upon their lips and laughed cuz they haven’t a clue what they are saying. They can’t produce a coherent fact based argument to support their fallacious claims and unhinged feelings.
They can’t distinguish between information and knowledge. Can’t tell discern fact from fiction and lack critical thinking skills.
So I ponder whether to put time into writing significant meaningful posts that might move people or to continue works of fiction like A Partial Tale Of Two Liars.
I could share more silly moments like the one below.
Just told a telemarketer my name is Nutella Johnson. That didn’t stop them from reading from their script, but when I asked them the best way to dispose of a body they hung up.
Told someone I’d go back to the eighties and live without email and internet. Go back to a time when Skynet was just something from a movie and we didn’t have to consider what happened when we let the AI genie out of the bottle.
I used it for some work functions today and thought about how much more efficient it made me in some areas and wondered what we give up in return.
Got me thinking about younger people and what impact it will on their education. Got me thinking about older people and what impact it will have on their critical thinking.
Einstein was onto something.
****
Yesterday the doc said I can stop wearing that monster brace upon the arm but to remember to give it six more weeks before I start lifting real weights with it.
Sat at a high row machine with a couple of 45s on the right arm and smiled at the adrenaline surge I always get while lifting.
Shook my head in between sets watching a video of another antisemitic incident.
Thought about how I never could have imagined living in a time where the stories I hear aren’t things that happened when my great grandparents lived but are contemporary events.
Put another 10 on the bar and reminded myself to be patient with my left. Doubt I’ll ever punch a hippo in real life but hope I never have a need or occasion to have to punch a human.
Strange days are upon us, may we return to boring and mundane sooner than later.
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