I said the Shema before the doc put me under today. I didn’t know they were going to intubate me during what they call a minor medical procedure but I knew I would get a good nap care of general anesthesia.
They hooked me up to an IV about 30 minutes or so before they started pumping something in to relax me but it must have been stronger than they made it out to be because I barely remember hitting the O.R.
No complaints on that end, I had no interest in being awake for any of it. What I remembered is someone talking about religion and asking ‘Do you believe in magic?’
I think they were being sarcastic but I don’t remember enough of the conversation to say nor do I particularly care.
Chalk me up today as between agnostic and believer or whatever makes you happy. I wanted all the good juju I could get so I said the Shema and sent out a silent request to my father or any other family spirit that wanted to look out for me.
Can’t tell you if it helped or went unnoticed and don’t care because I am sitting here, a little sore, less groggy and waiting a little bit longer to take my med and get some shut eye.
They Died Too Young
While the nurses were hooking me up the surgeon came in and asked if I had any questions. I shook his hand, looked him in the eye and asked how long I have to wait before I can start lifting again.
He told me a couple of weeks and I made a mental note to work on my recovery because I have things to do.
Thought about my time home last week going through boxes in my parents garage and the pictures/memories I came across. Thought about my Great-Grandfather Aaron who’s stone above shows died far too young as did my grandmother and many of her siblings.
Wondered how far medical science has come since then and whether that would have had a positive impact upon their lives.
Thought about how we have a fool running the Department of Health & Human Services now an idiot in the White House who know nothing about science and how many people they might get killed.
I don’t worry about it for my family, friends and myself because we believe in education and science. I am also privileged to have quite a few accomplished docs/scientists in my family and friend group so I am not crippled by the idiocy being pumped out.
That reminds me of someone who once asked if I saw a contradiction between religion and science and how I said not in my world. I saw no reason their couldn’t be an intersection between the two and mentioned how pikuach nefesh fits into that.
Side note in the realm of not really important but caught my eye:
The Department of Health & Human Services was formed under Ike’s administration during April 1953.
My Great Grandma Anna in March of ’53, 43 years before the day I was married. In a strange coincidence my maternal grandmother died on my 14th wedding anniversary. Not sure what it is about that date that is rough on my grandmothers, but I digress.
Men Of Action-Men Of Honor
Been listening to the following songs as I write and think about the promise I made long ago to restore my honor and act as a man of action.
With Or Without You– U2
Don’t Answer Me-The Alan Parsons Project
Duck Shoot– The Crown
Knocking On Heavens Door– Bob Dylan
Believe– Cher
Running To Stand Still– U2
One Minute You’re Here Bruce Springsteen
Somewhere in the garage I stumble across more pictures of Moose and smile as I think about the Big Lug.
I look at his photo and whisper “do you remember when I was 25 and I’d take you to Balboa Park and I’d let of the leash and run?
Do you remember years later when I showed you this clip from Gladiator and said “we could do that?”
Thought about him for a few.
I would look at him and tell him that I expected him to jump through the flames but that he couldn’t leave my side because we had to look out for each other and we couldn’t do that unless he stayed close.
Sometimes he would wag his tail at me or come lay his giant head in my lap and I would get this feeling that there was nothing in the world we couldn’t overcome. And then he’d go climb on the counter and steal the steak I was defrosting or eat my wallet and I’d yell at him.
It was never for long because those dark eyes of his were powerful.
It is seventeen years since he left us and now how the pup that joined us after Moose left is 15.5 and on a series of meds to help him keep going.
He got sick just before I left for LA, scared me a bit because I was worried he might not be there when I came back.
Made me remember a dream I had about Moose before he checked out,
“a few dogs started barking at me and he was at my side, tail pointed, deep bark warning them to stay away. At the same time I yelled at them too- told him not to worry that I would find a way out of it for us. But mostly I was secure in the knowledge that the big lug had my back because he always did. Who listened better to my stories than he did. He never got tired or them or acted judgmental- he just loved me.”
Cookie, the brother Moose never met loves us all too. Those two would have loved each other, though Moose at 125 pounds would have dwarfed 22 pound Cookie.
It is unfair to be loved so unconditionally by these guys who have lifespans that don’t come close to matching ours.
But they do a pretty damn good job of living each day and it is not crazy to try and match their love for life which I do.
I have so many things left to do and so little time to do it in which is why I am trying so hard to put it all together. Don’t mistake that to mean that I don’t expect to have several decades left because that is my goal.
And it is why I am working hard to do the things I have to do to make it all happen. If I fall short it won’t be for lack of effort and who knows, maybe I’ll find out that magic played a role in it all.
Life is one hell of an adventure, can’t wait to see what crazy, unexpected twist it takes now because there have been many.
If you want to read past posts click here.
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