Maybe I’ll Update My Eulogy

My broker didn’t know how to respond when I said looked at his plan and said “maybe I’ll update my eulogy.”

I smiled and told him I want the winning lottery numbers to help fuel my retirement plan and if he doesn’t have those I might have to have the cardiologist take a second look at the tests I am having done this week.

He asked me if I was serious and I nodded my head and said I am absolupeotely serious about the tests. “Got two this week.”

There was a pause and he asked me if it was serious and I said I didn’t know because I don’t have the results yet but I am prepared to do battle with the מַלְאַךְ הַמָּוֶת/angel of death.

He isn’t Jewish so I shared the link above and told him about how my grandfather told me he was prepared to fight the angel of death. I added that as I have said here before that I don’t fear death but I hope it doesn’t hurt.

And then I told him I want someone to fix my coffin so that when the pallbearers carry it there is a sound that makes them think I am sliding around inside.

I might have to record myself cursing and saying something about them needing to be more careful with me.

Anyhoo, I almost told the broker to go read this post for more details about the tests but got distracted and forgot to mention it.

Maybe I’ll Update My Eulogy

I have thought about writing my own eulogy more than once because it might be my last opportunity to tell the story of my life in my own terms.

The last time in which others won’t be able to define me. I haven’t decided if I care enough about others trying to define me to feel a real need to do that or whether I just want to write something myself because I like writing.

Both my father and uncle told me upon separate occasions they didn’t care much about how most people would remember them because they would be dead.

Some people might find that to be a harsh expression but I understand it. It makes sense to me.

There are only a few people I need to think of me fondly and my children are at the top of that list. We do as we do not just for ourselves but for our families.

So if I have lived the kind of life I want to live my family will have those fond memories. I suppose I hope that my closest friends would feel the same way.

One ought to be lucky enough to have the kind of friends you donate organs to or take a bullet for just as they would do for you.

That is the important thing.

A Moment In Time With Our Children

I saw a quote a short while ago about how we only get a short time with our children when they are children and lots of years when they are adults.

That caught me, it is bittersweet and it is true.

Every age becomes my favorite but there are moments from when they are little that you can never recapture and being kind of a sentimental guy that catches me.

Some of those are just memories and some are things caught on photo or camera.

I have the video of the toddler girl squealing when she picked up the hose and got squirted in the face. The video of her running to tell her cousins about the family of deer she found and the one where she was climbing on top of the swing set.

Got a bunch of her brother and so much good stuff.

Came across another quote that says part of why people love their grandchildren so much is because it is almost like getting to love your children as children again and more.

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It is just men in the house for a month or so.

The dog followed me into the garage and I told him unless he was going to pick up a tool he needed to go back inside.

He wagged his tail and waited for me to grab what I needed before turning around. I asked him if he could help play out a version of the scene below from the Godfather.

“If you do this for me we can accomplish quite a bit in one fell swoop. The best part is you can’t speak English so you can never rat on me, not even if they bribe you with a steak.”

For a moment the two of us stared at each other and I added something about an extra Scooby snack if he didn’t take up the bed tonight.

And then I marched off to work knowing the fur ball wasn’t going to hold flashlight for me or grab a beer let alone rain terror upon my enemies.

But maybe, just maybe if I write my own eulogy I can tell the story like he did all those things and more.