Just open your eyes, just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful
Will you swear on your life
That no one will cry at my funeral?
I know some things that you don’t
I’ve done things that you won’t
There’s nothing like a trail of blood
To find your way back home- Life Is Beautiful– Sixx:A.M.
I turned on a playlist I made when I was about 40 and took a trip back in time and thought about some of the things that were going on when I made it.
Can’t remember the last time I listened to it or a chunk of the songs on it but this one struck me because some of it felt so relevant for this particular moment in time.
Don’t mistake that to mean that I think things are bad because overall there is some pretty good stuff going on in my world right now.
That didn’t stop me from telling someone to advise another to not mess with me.
“He won’t survive the encounter. I won’t just drive the bus over him, I’ll shift back forth between drive and reverse and then follow up with a barrel of acid.”
We laughed and then he asked what I would do if I was truly irritated.
“I am a fan of defenestration. It is a great tool for attitude adjustment.”
“I am not familiar with the word. What does it mean?”
If you have been in hiding and missed a post or two I’d suggest reading Some Relationships Can’t Be Tanked and then see where that takes you.
I have been listening to the Bruce Springsteen interview with Howard Stern again and I keep nodding my head and smiling.
It is fantastic.
Not just because I am a fan of Bruce’s music and writing but because there are so many moments that you can get lost in, some of which I have shared before.
Maybe it is because I have been through hospice with my father and I can relate to Bruce talking about Clarence squeezing his hand or maybe it is that and more.
Maybe I would have played this for Dad if I could have.
and the piece about Tougher Than The Rest catches me too, something about one of the early lines, or maybe it is something else.
“I’ve been watching you a whileMaybe you’ve been watching me too”
“Well there’s another dance
All you gotta do is say yes
And if you’re rough and ready for love
Honey I’m tougher than the rest”
A Pro Palestinian activist cut and paste a picture of me she found online and tried to silence me by making fun of my picture today.
It made me snort because I took that as a win. If I made you feel the need to go looking for a picture that you could use to try and hurt me I won.
Would it be nice to have a full head of hair again? I guess, but it doesn’t bother me enough to consider taking pills, wearing a toupee or engaging in surgery.
Would I like to have the body I did at 20 again? Sure, who wouldn’t. It was dramatically different than now but so what, that is what aging does to you.
When you’re within several years of your 40 year high school reunion you are going to have some earned some lines, wrinkles and some of the mystery aches and pains that come with it.
Hell, I earned those and had a good time securing most of them. There are good memories tied to most.
I Got To Be Dad Again
The long time readers and those who know me well know one of my goals as a parent was to raise independent children who could advocate on their own behalf.
The goal was to raise children of good character who would be able to stand on their own and be productive members of society.
Overall I feel like the great experiment has been a success. There have been ups and downs and challenges but that is how you learn and grow.
Anyhoo, the hard part of some of this is when your children involve you less because they don’t need your help the same way as they did when they were younger.
Even though they are doing what they were taught to do there are still moments where I miss being needed the way they once did.
But there are moments where they ask for help and I get a chance to be Dad again. Moments where they recognize value in asking me to take an active role in their affairs.
During the past week I got to do it with all of the children and that was something I treasured being able to do. It was fun and rewarding for me to be able to lend a hand.
The questions they asked were sophisticated and showed a deep understanding of their respective situations but that didn’t prevent the benefit of having some life experience they haven’t received yet that I have.
Maybe the way to end this post is to go back to Bruce and evolution.