I am standing in the middle of Costco in Southlake when I realize there are two people who are close enough to my right shoulder to make me wonder if they like my cologne or want to grab my wallet.
Not wearing Polo or Drakkar today so maybe it is just animal magnetism which doesn’t surprise me because I know a monkey who keeps me at arms length because otherwise they’d be forced to wrap themselves around me.
Still standing that close to me is a good way to get me to spin around with a hand or forearm placed in way that will create contact and distance cuz I have been in places where the intentions weren’t to shower me with affection.
Except we’re in the middle of Costco and though it is a time in which it is less crowded there are still just enough people for me to recognize it might not be me they are interested in.
So I figure I could pretend to start coughing like I am trying to spit out my liver or I could entertain myself with a fake telephone call.
The call sounds like the better option so I throw in an earbud and start a conversation.
“I didn’t think you would want to speak with me again after I said I wouldn’t sleep with you. You snore far too loudly and make some awful noises.”
I fling out my arms, grunt, make some faces and gesticulate with my hands.
“What do you mean you want more details. I have seen you naked multiple times. Do you know what that birthmark looks like now? Five kids later it hasn’t gotten any smaller, but your sister, well hers is the same size.”
That causes a loud exhale of air from someone who is clearly listening to a conversation they are not involved in.
“And the thing that really makes this difficult for me is that you took Johnny Cash too seriously. You are not supposed to be a boy named Sue, or at least you weren’t like that when we met.
How am I supposed to just go with it. I feel like I got a stocking filled with coal again and I am not talking about the way you smell after you put away three packs.”
That is about as far as I got because it was so ridiculous I started laughing…hard. Except I was trying to stifle it so that I could keep this ridiculous charade up.
I was half bent over giggling my ass off into my hands which might have looked like crying to the few people who had been eavesdropping.
It was first class nunsense and probably a waste of time but the week I had was something else. There were moments that made me very excited about the future and several more that made me issue curses.
Hell, by the middle of Friday afternoon I had remind someone that I am someone who tears down walls, knocks down doors and breaks crap into multiple pieces.
“Gentle isn’t always natural for me.”
I don’t think they really understood but I wasn’t talking to me as much as I was venting for myself because sometimes it is what you do to maintain your sanity.
A while back I suggested to someone that we ought to find time to hang out and catch up. Got lots of things to share and discuss and some questions that need to be addressed.
Got a non committal answer but didn’t make much of it because there are people in your life who you know are going to be there. People who you know are there because there is a purpose and sooner or later those conversations happen.
Years ago I didn’t really believe that but I have had experiences that have taught me to think otherwise.
That reminds me of another experience I wrote about several years back.
On a professional level I heard back from someone I was trying to reach and they thanked me for my perseverance.
I laughed and said I get paid to find people.
They asked me if I thought I was like Liam Neeson in Taken. I shook my head no and said I don’t kill people…anymore.
They chuckled and I explained why I had been reaching out and suggested their delay in response had created issues.
“Ok, you are not Liam Neeson but you are a bit of a social assassin, aren’t you.”
I didn’t respond to that, wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or an insult so I decided to stay silent until they responded again.
The younger Mr. Wilner says that sort of silence from me is very disconcerting.
“Dad, it is kind terrifying. I never know what you are going to do.”
“Are you afraid I am going to hit you?”
“No, not at all.”
“Are you afraid I am going to yell at you?”
“No, it is just weird.”
“Would you feel better if I said grandpa did it to me too?”
“Not really. I don’t think you are really conscious of it. That is why it is so effective. It is natural.”
“Well maybe you’ll do it too. Maybe we can learn how to monetize it and be the Silent Wilners and say we are more exciting than the Flying Wallendas.”
“Damn, I forget I am getting old. Google them.”
There is no real point to this post, no focus other than to just write. Felt like I had to scratch that itch today so I have thrown a few thoughts upon the page and let them take me where they will.
The college girl is officially done with the Fall semester so the house is full again. That is a nice place to be.
Time to listen to some softer music and begin to wind down a bit.