Sometimes when I get sick I have more vivid dreams than I normally do and this week has been proof of that as I am doing battle with a bug that wishes to kill me.
This tiny monster hasn’t recognized I may not be who I once was but I am still more than capable of beating it in submission, even if takes a minute longer to do so.
I have things to do and people to do them with so I am not checking out yet, but it has been a “I take this potch and throw it away” kind of moment.
Hell, it has been a heck of a week for the Wilner men and one in which I had multiple occasions to tell the younger Mr. Wilner how proud I am of him.
“Sometimes if you fight through it good things happen and you did it.”
He smiled at me and I told him to remember that “maybe Dad knows some things.”
Fly Higher, Keep Pushing
Got the evening dose of Nyquil in me and am waiting for it to kick in so I can get my 40 winks and realized it has been a couple of days since I posted A Question Of Dignity.
Muscles in my back feel like I tore a few of them which is par for the course with the kind of sneezing I have been doing.
According to the gas lighters and haters I referred to it is because the lord hates me but I like telling them it is because he loves me so much he wants to humble me.
Makes them crazy and well if I am going to jump in the mud with the pigs and wrestle I might as well enjoy it.
Got me thinking about Don singing Boys of Summer and talking about how you can never look back except that is how I measure how I far I have come and estimate how far I have got to go.
Nothing wrong with that and sometimes you do it because you are Running with the devil and sometimes just because.
Told the younger Mr. Wilner about my big moment of success earlier this week and then explained the current conundrum and shared some thoughts about how I intend to push on through.
“I am famous for muscling through things but I tried doing it differently here because sometimes people expect you to do the work for them.
I am not sure if I created more issues for myself by not pushing to have to somethings done a certain way or if this was the better move.
I anticipated being in this position and I may suffer more brain damage because of it but I also may set things up so this doesn’t happen again. Won’t know until I get to the other side.”
He nodded his head and shared a few thoughts and I told him to take it for what it is worth.
****
Talked to my daughter about her finals and did my best to offer support. She is taking a course load that reminds me she is so much smarter than I am.
I could get her to where she is at if I had to, but I think she has done with far more ease. And if I am honest she is a better student than I ever was.
She earns her grades, it is not just dumb luck.
Whereas I earned my grades but I rarely put in the kind of concerted effort she does. I made it work because I can consume large volumes of information and make sense of it in a way that made my professors feel like I had a grasp of it.
In some cases I absolutely did but I think she has a deeper and better understanding. My young lady, the STEM cell girl.
I love it, but there are times where I see a little girl in pig tails holding my face between her little hands so that she could tell me something very important.
It is a good feeling when you know all of your children are on their way.
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