Walk Like An Old Man

Every time I walk down the stairs in my house I hear The Bangles singing Walk Like An Egyptian, except in my head it sounds like ‘Walk like an old man.’

That’s because my feet are too big for the stairs.

I walk sideways because otherwise my foot hangs off of the end of the stair and during the six years of living here there have been a few occasions where I lost my footing and almost fell down.

I may not be someone people look at as the epitome of grace but I am not a klutz either. So I opt to walk sideways, better to look like an old man than fall down and cripple myself.

Some of you remember when I slipped on an icy staircase and managed to dislocate my finger. Took six months for that to heal and even now there are moments when the finger chooses to remind me of its anger.

I don’t fear falling down the stairs and being killed but I am concerned about being crippled. I am mostly bullet proof, but mostly doesn’t cut it.

Be Like Morgan Freeman

The younger Mr. Wilner walked in and saw me watching a clip of a Morgan Freeman interview in which he said men should never pursue women.

I nodded my head and told my son to focus on pursuing his dreams and not women.

“If you meet the right one and she decides she is interested she’ll make a point to let you ‘catch her’ or maybe she’ll catch you. Don’t rush, enjoy this time.”

He laughed and said “ok old man. Did that work for you.”

I smiled and said I did ok for myself. Usually better when I focused on what I needed to do and not who. At my age now I see it in very simple terms. Spend time with me or don’t. That is the beauty of age and life experience. Provides a level of patience I didn’t have when I was younger.”

The younger Mr. Wilner is definitely more career focused and at times has voice some concern about not knowing exactly what he wants to do for the next 30 or so years.

I remind him that very few people in their early twenties can answer that question and many of those who think they do make a few changes.

Told him to hold that thought for a minute as we listened to Leonard Cohen sing The Partisan.

“There was a time where I told your grandfather I was thinking about joining the Marine corps. He told me that I needed to recognize that 18 year-olds are cannon fodder and to not let the fire in my belly get me into trouble.”

Dad and I argued about it, more because I didn’t like his response to something I was thinking about.

“Ok smart guy, think about something else for a moment. Ask yourself if you can tolerate being told what to do for the next few years because those guys won’t play games with you.”

Got an email from one of the genealogy services that next week Dad will turn 80, or at least he would if he was still here.

I didn’t delete the email but I thought about it. Not sure why I haven’t because I know exactly when his birthday is and holding onto some pixels won’t change anything.

We do what we do and it is not always based upon rational thought.

What I Can’t Fix

I stood under endless blue skies and wiped the sweat from my eyes. It was about 102 or so I was told and I was waiting for someone to meet me by a beat up staircase.

He walked over and I stuck out my hand and introduced myself.

We went back and forth for a few and then he expressed his thoughts regarding some particular circumstances. I nodded my head and told him what I could and what I can’t fix.

For a moment I wondered if I had ‘Mconnelled’ him because he was frozen and then he said I surprised him by being so honest.

I hadn’t thought of myself as being particularly blunt but knew I was absolutely not trying to finesse him so I wondered what the people before me had said.

“I am 54 and don’t have time for any BS. It is easier and faster for both of us to put our cards on the table. You tell me what you need and I’ll tell how I can or cannot help.”

Three hours later I sat in front of my computer and wondered when I had fallen asleep. Looked at the time and realized I must have dozed off but only for a few minutes.

There was a ding announcing a new email with a reply from someone whose response said I hadn’t told them what they wanted to hear.

I stared at it and mulled over whether it merited a response. Decided sometimes silence says all you need to say and let it go.

‘If they don’t find a better option they’ll be back and if not, well it wasn’t meant to be.’

Nodded my head in response to that silent voice and walked back to the kitchen to grab some more water because hydration is critical.

Made a mental note of the time and reminded myself to drink more earlier so that I would sleep through the night.

I am better than quite a few friends, but the time has come where I have to be cautious how much I have after 10:30, isn’t aging fun.