My daughter called me from the apartment she lives in to ask me for my advice on a couple of issues. Six hours later her older brother asked for my help with something else.
They don’t ask for my help very often now so I am more appreciative of the opportunities than I once was. Though I always understood older parents advice to be cognizant of how fast time passes it was harder to accept when the children were younger.
There were always a million requests, some important, some not so important and what felt like so little time to focus on the things I needed.
I tried to hard to balance it out, reminded myself it would go faster than I expected and I was right, even if I wasn’t always as good as I tried to be about being present.
Thought about it all while I worked on power of attorney and other issues. Remembered a moment in my old apartment ten years prior and how it felt like I was seeing the future.
There was a time I was certain I was and I was certain I was wrong. And now, well now I think I might have, can’t say until some things play out as they will.
But I remember the neighbor who used an expression, When June Awakens.
The man who taught the English class I took my senior year used to teach us unusual words. Guynotikolobomassophile was one of the first he had us learn. It referred to someone who liked to nibble on a woman’s earlobe.
Once he sat in class with a few of the senior boys and talked about the word and the difference between nibbling on a woman’s earlobe and kissing her lips.
He told us if kissed the right one you would forever remember them and that they would remember you. It would be a kiss that changed lives.
“The chance you take opening yourself up may change your life and hers. Be brave.”
Almost forty years later it occurs to me there are people who would try to get him fired for teaching us such words and asking us to think such thoughts
Those were the days before I would receive emails from Jewish organizations that talked about how to deal with attacks. Days where I didn’t look at Run, hide fight and think those are the same tactics we’re taught at the office.
Back then if you had asked friends who would be most likely to try to fight instead of run and or hide I suspect some would have pointed at me.
Not long ago a colleague told me that if anything happened it would be good to be nearby because I stay calm and I am not afraid to fight.
Eighteen year-old Josh couldn’t stomach the idea of not fighting to protect himself. Fifty-four year old Josh understands that, but never wants to find out what he would do.
He has seen too much and if asked to demonstrate bravery would rather go for that kiss than the gunman.
If those situations go sideways the one is most likely to leave feeling embarrassed and maybe ashamed whereas the other might leave you dead.
But I don’t focus on the negative and all of the things that could go wrong any more than I focus on everything going right.
I do my best to take that middle road and take life as it comes. Seems to be more important than ever during the age of social media and a 24 hour news cycle.
Reminds me of a couple of people I know who avoid following the news because they think it is too negative. I understand why they go a different route but I can’t give it up the way I have. Can’t walk around feeling like I don’t know anything that is going on.
That would be depressing to me. I prefer to filter as needed.
Talked with the younger Mr. Wilner about the importance of picking our moments. He has seen me voice my displeasure with people and witnessed my unwillingness to just accept certain things.
Sometimes he laughs about having seen his New Jersey aunt demonstrate her inner Wilner is alive and well.
The kid is smarter and more clever than I am in many ways but he doesn’t have the life experience I have so I do what I can to share a few things that I think will help.
Talked with him about visit with a doctor where I was unhappy and visits with others who hold positions of authority and or expertise.
“Titles don’t always mean someone is correct or right. Be willing to ask for an explanation. Be diplomatic. Be fair, but don’t be afraid to ask.
And pick your moments. Not everything requires a battle or struggle. Sometimes going along and getting along has as much merit.”
He is probably better about that than I am, has a different fire in the belly than I do.
We are very similar and very different. It is fascinating to see.
There is joy in watching the children learn to fly huh.
