The first lesson of this father’s moving service is I won’t do everything for you but I will give you the benefit of a body that can still move the heavy crap.
I’ll also provide insight and advice regarding circumstances, situations and opportunities but not all will be rendered without your asking for it.
Some of it depends on whether I see an immediate safety issue/need in which case I will address it otherwise I want you to learn how to do things without me so I will be circumspect in my approach.
Sometimes you need to fail or fear failure to learn. I won’t cripple you by never letting you deal with adversity.
The sense of accomplishment you derive from your own efforts and work isn’t something that can be handed to you. You have to earn it and once you do that experience will help you overcome other challenges.
There Is No Perfect Time
I was reminded by Dad’s Moving Services- College Edition there is a perfect time for somethings but for many there is no perfect time.
Sometimes you want to have a conversation with someone else to tell them exactly how you feel and to have a conversation about the future. Sometimes you watch and wait to have that conversation because there are reasons to hold off.
Good reasons. Important reasons. Solid reasons.
Reasons to believe they will be less inclined to talk and or listen. Reasons to believe they might not be prepared, ready or willing to hear what you have to say.
But life is messy and sometimes life is hard and if you wait too long the door you hoped would open might not. Hell, you might have to knock and or open it yourself and say you want to talk.
It is a lesson I have learned from not just experience, but experiences.
Some were bitter and some were triumphant.
When you move your children into their own place it is easy to want to take control and set things up in the way you think is best.
It is easy to think that what is familiar and comfortable to you ought to work for all but it doesn’t mean it is so.
Your child might have one or several roommates who have their own ideas of how things ought to go and since you are not living there it is not your place to determine how it should.
That is a conversation for roommates. That is a life lesson they need to learn.
That is how they continue their path of learning how to get along with others and with few exceptions it will be a critical skill.
Don’t ask me to list those exceptions because while I am sure they must exist they are so limited I cannot see value in trying to determine it.
You will always need the ability to work with others and if you cannot you will be crippled.
Use Your Head
You won’t find a numerical list of 55 things in this post that I have learned though I could break things out into one.
Some of you might ask me to provide one or complain that I didn’t, never know what the readers will do or not do.
The younger Mr. Wilner said he noticed that when people poke at me I sometimes poke back and or keep bringing the same topic up over and over.
“You’re really good at finding ways to keep mentioning things in a way in which they are relevant to the conversation. But most people recognize you are doing so to mess with them and or make a point.”
He asks me if that is a good way to get along with people and I smile.
“Kind of depends on who, when and how it is done. Kind of depends on whether they see it as my being a jerk or if it is funny.”
He smiles and tells me he wonders how people who don’t me take it.
“Do they know how intentional you are. They might.”
I smile back at him and say it is not always intentional, at least not in the way some might think.
“But you are correct in asking if it is a good way to get along with others. Getting along with others is often one of the most important skills you can have in life.
So is knowing when to stand your ground.
It is all about how and when, there is no perfect timing.”