I didn’t write about a meal at Gloria’s in a post I wrote here though I had thought about it because I saw a thread that needed connection and context.
Thought back upon a time when I was back in LA and someone asked me if I was on my second or third divorce.
Reminded me when someone once told me they would consider dating me but probably wouldn’t marry me and I laughed and said if they discovered there was a big tax advantage it would absolutely happen.
Practical people make practical decisions or something like that flowed from my lips.
Anyhoo, it wasn’t just one person who asked if I was on my second or third divorce and I wondered briefly who might be saying what about me.
As is my nature I provided them with the answer they deserved, “maybe you don’t know me.”
At least one person asked me to explain what that meant and I just smiled and kept going about my business.
There are questions you don’t get to ask me ever and questions I might answer depending on on a variety of factors.
Granted there is no guarantee I won’t make something up on the fly that sounds plausible, believable and logical but generally that is because if you are in the inner circle you know.
Or if you don’t know I am willing to engage because you have the right to ask but that circle is small.
Something in that last ‘graph made me think of some of the lyrics in ELO’s Telephone Line.
Hello, how are you?
Have you been alright through all those lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely
Lonely nights? That’s what I’d say
I’d tell you everything if you’d pick up that telephone
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I have lived alone multiple times and sometimes I think about when I moved back to Texas in 2016 and a period of time in which I ate every meal by myself.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner day after day were all by my lonesome as were almost every holiday.
There were a few meals in which things were different and some opportunities in which I could have worked to have scheduled something but I didn’t.
I didn’t want to invite myself anywhere and didn’t want to drive for hours to have a few minutes of company. It helps that I am comfortable with myself and unafraid of silence.
It also helps that I had a vision of where things would eventually go and faith that somehow they would work out in the way I hoped.
But that doesn’t mean there weren’t moments where I wanted that phone to ring.
Hell, I had double hernia surgery two weeks before I moved here and instructions from my surgeon on how often I needed to stop the car, how much I could lift and how long I had to wait before I could resume exercising at a gym.
Those instructions weren’t easy to follow. I had to keep reminding myself not to tear stitches or risk injuring myself and even then I pushed the limits a bit.
But I pictured life as being a carnival and saw myself walking through a wacky fun house.
I made it through most of the storms and survived a couple of shipwrecks. I expect some of you will eventually want to know the details and specifics. I might even tell you over a meal…maybe.
****
Brought in barbecue last night and woke up this morning trying to decide what was trying to kill me. Sometimes the joy of a dysfunctional digestive system are of the highest order.
Got to call the doc and have a conversation about a couple of things.
Beyond that think I am going to have to keep a little food journal to figure out if there is a particular item that has declared war upon me.
Nothing like a food journal to take some of the joy out of eating.
But whatever, I’ll work through this like I work through everything because life is short and there isn’t time to let little things slow you down.
Really do love that quote it just resonates with me.
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we have survived every bad day and that change is constant. There will be periods of time where it feels like you can’t catch a break and moments where you catch every wave.
In a period of transition now and some of that is making me a little crazy but got a feeling that if I hang on just a bit longer I am going to get answers to some big questions.
Got a feeling that I am about to grab that brass ring and ride my pony across another finish line. Could be wrong, but might be right.
Got reason to be optimistic and sometimes that is all you need to carry you just a little farther.
Red dress, blue dress, does it matter if you like them both.
