There are better headlines than Experiences, Things & People We Can’t Forget but I am not in a position to work on perfecting this one.
Why?
Because sometimes you go with good enough for a host of reasons that do not mean you are settling for mediocrity.
Today I remembered business trip I took to Dallas around Fall of 2007. It was one of a few times I took hold of the world and forced to stop spinning so quickly, a time in which I did my best to as the cliche says, “move heaven and earth.”
On the way back to LA the rental car agency was so efficient they drove away in my rental car with my suitcase in it. I remember a mix of frustration and concern about whether I’d miss my flight with a question of whether I ought to just stay.
It had been a very good trip so the idea sounded pleasant.
A Different Life
Looking at the pictures above with a wry grin I remember when we all looked the way we did and now none of us do.
The kids have changed far more than I have, they are big people now but I recognize the expressions of today and see the faces of who they once were.
The boy in the bottom left has a similar expression and gesture when he is engaged in telling a story and I suspect my own expression when listening is close to that.
The little girl who once slept upon my lap fell asleep against my shoulder not so very long ago and I remembered when I could pick her up and carry her to her room.
Didn’t try to do so this time because she most assuredly would have woken up and been disturbed at my effort. I am ok with it, I don’t relish being carried either.
But it doesn’t mean I don’t think about those days upon a time.
Those days with young children seem so distant and yet so close. Some adventures were passed upon because I was concerned about the impact upon them and as always I can’t say if it would have been better or worse for them.
The truth is I think in some cases it would have been better for me, but you subjugate your desire on some things for the good of your children.
So I don’t spend much time thinking about whether the choices were good or bad, I just figure they were for the best.
And then moments like yesterday pop up and I find myself charging into the fray, ready to use words or fists because your days as a father don’t end until you are no longer vertical.
Memories
Sometimes I write to ensure I remember forever. Sometimes I write to hold myself accountable. Sometimes I write to hold others accountable.
Not long ago I put things upon a page that made me wonder if I had considered the potential outcome of what I was trying to accomplish.
I nodded my head and reassured myself because memories drove me to the page and instinct said it was time to put it out there for it is better to try to know than to not try.
