It is ten years since I wandered through a Purim carnival in Fort Worth smiling as I walked because it was all so familiar and yet so foreign.
Stood against a wall watching parents help their kids try to win a prize and thought about what life would be like when my own kids made it out.
Walked through the hall half expecting to be recognized or to recognize others because a lifetime of being involved in Jewish organizations and activities around the country and world has helped me make a million connections.
Got lost in thought and realized I was staring at someone in a way that was going to make them wonder what I was doing and wandered on down the hall.
Time passed and I began to grow more comfortable with my new home and I got involved in a few things, explored some opportunities and confirmed that some ideas weren’t just based upon fantasy or imagination.
I remember thinking that when you open some doors you have to be prepared for what lies behind. Sometimes the safe thing is to not push your limits and explore possibilities.
But I am not one to let fear of jumping off of cliffs prevent me from finding out if I know how to fly.
What Ifs
I can’t say that I have always ignored the what ifs or that they haven’t stopped me from taking a chance because sometimes they held me back.
Some opportunities seemed to be impossible and some came back around.
If I have learned anything in life it is to pay attention to the people you seem to be connected to regardless of situation and circumstance and the reoccurring opportunity.
Call me superstitious, call me silly or anything else you wish if it makes you feel good and I’ll be ok with it because this system works for me.
I still believe in making my own luck and that much of it comes from my own hard work but I also believe there may be other things at work.
None of this removes my belief in free will and our ability to make choices because that is clearly intact. What I see here is a chance that there may be something out there that presents some of these opportunities in ways we might not come across other than by chance.
I remember taking my son to see Guardians Of The Galaxy when it came out in 2014 and watching the opening scene as the music above played.
Told him afterwards about how I remembered hearing it play when I was a little boy in a pizza parlor that had sawdust on the floor.
He thought sawdust on the floor sounded kind of strange and I said I remembered seeing it in more than one place.
“The seventies were different and so were the eighties.”
I don’t think I imagined that my life would be anything like it is now back in those days but go back to 2014 and I had some sort of idea about what the future might look like.
Had some sort of idea about the trail I was trying to blaze even if I wasn’t entirely sure how I could or would make any of it happen.
Just had a feeling that one way or another things would get there…more or less.
Life is one hell of a ride and sometimes I do think about whether it is best to leave some doors closed and to look through the window at possibilities.
But you never do get to enjoy the feeling of the sun upon your back or the smell of that fresh air if you do that.
That only happens if you walk through the door.
