There is a scene in Maverick in which Tom Cruise advises another pilot, “Don’t Think, Just Do.” It incorporates a solid chunk of how I live my life.
Long ago during one of many battles with my father he told me it didn’t matter what he said or advised because I was going to do whatever the hell I wanted to do any way.
Sometimes I think about that and a moment that followed later on in which he asked me why I would run straight into the fire I had been burning in before.
I understand it differently now because when you see your child do something that you think is hurting them your instinct is to do whatever you can to help get them out of it.
And I understand I could be infuriating because my determination to dance in the damn fire until I figured it out or it killed me could be painful for others.
Sometimes I have seen my own children do it and wondered did they have to take on this particular quality because you could argue it is among my worst as easily as it is among my best.
It’s hard wired into me and I have learned to make it work so when got some news a while back and felt a very familiar ache tried to go the other direction.
Tried to do things differently and it didn’t work because it wasn’t following my heart, so I opted for a version of Tom Cruise’s advice and stopped thinking.
I just did.
I wrote a bunch of it down, looked up at the moon and smiled.
So when you ask me how I know the moon is real I will tell you that the man in the moon smiled back at me and…science.
Say What Needs To Be Said
Earlier today I asked my daughter if she wanted my true opinion on something and smiled when she said yes. She knew she would get it at some point in time anyway.
I have worked hard on learning to be more patient in sharing those particular thoughts and ideas because timing is everything. Sometimes waiting to speak is more important than whatever truth you have to share.
The gym parking lot is emptier than normal but I can’t say if it is because of the rainstorm or that it is early evening on a Saturday night.
Takes a moment for me to dry my feet in the entrance and another five on the elliptical to get the blood pumping so that I can hit the bench press.
Today is a day to test myself and determine what kind of progress I have made. A day to determine if my effort to follow the guidelines of vanity and sanity has been working.
When I rejoined ego wanted me to start lifting as heavy as I could go but sanity said that I had taken enough time off to merit bigger benefits from taking a more patient approach.
Sanity paid off today.
I increased what I was working out with by 38 percent more than where I had been. It felt great because I know I could have gone a little more than 50 percent.
The goal is get to about 65 so I am well on my way. If vanity continues to rule the day I’ll use slow and steady to get to that place.
It is not easy to be patient when you have something going on and you see an opportunity. Not easy to go along when you have to convince others to go as you wish, but sometimes to get what you want requires that.
Who Is Important To You
Got a few ways to measure this from the very simple to the more complex but opting to use the Don’t think, just do scale makes it very simple for me.
It renders a pretty quick list of people whose presence or absence is noticeable to me. There is a scale of noticeability to it.
You walk the line for some people and skip around it for others.
The younger Mr.Wilner thought it was funny when I told him that some people remarked upon how my silence cna be unsettling.
It’s typically not something I do to intentionally mess with people. Some of it comes from having learned to sit in silence with my dad and grandfather.
But it also comes from having lived alone in Texas having had no real resources or connections to turn to. When you feel like you have no place to turn to other than the reflection in the mirror you learn to adapt.
Sometimes that can be a bitter loneliness, but you know you have some ability to influence it and that if you keep moving forward it will eventually change.
So you embrace the silence and allow it to enter you with the idea that you will change it and not the opposite.
Besides, in the dead of night you can always talk to the man in the moon and share your fantasies, thoughts and dreams while mapping out what you can do to make wishes come true or something like that.
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