Stepped onto a scale for the first time in a while and instead of accusing it of lying smiled at what I saw.
Progress….I saw progress.
Got more to go but the progress is meaningful, significant and important to me.
Not doing any of this for anyone but me because that is how it works–you have to do these things for yourself and no other.
If you like, love or hate me it ought to be for my personality and not how I look or don’t look. If I don’t have enough hair on my head, aren’t tall or skinny enough that is a you problem and not a me problem.
It is only a me problem if I am bothered by it.
Not enough people know how to live like that and I grant it is easy for me to say such things, but also maintain it still takes some effort.
It is not always easy to accept some changes, especially those you have less control over.
California
The Babylon Bee put out a series of parody videos about Californian moving to Texas but I don’t find most of them to be funny.
Got a brief chuckle out of one but not much and it is not because I am thin skinned. I don’t care what most people say or think.
These irk me because they are tied into a mean streak and are used to hurt people.
When I have had them referenced here it has generally been by the poorly educated, myopic and willfully blind folks who know almost nothing about my home state.
They are really good at parroting the lines from their political echo chamber and seemingly blind to the problems we have here that are easily made fun of too.
I suppose you can say I am tired of the divisiveness and the intentional tribal politics. Too many act with intent to embarrass the other side and less to find a reasonable compromise.
And I am tired of these foolish videos being thrust out by people who say that any election lost by their candidate is rigged and any that are won are legitimate.
It is illogical, asinine and ridiculous.
But don’t let facts get in the way if you rile up your base with specious claims and foolish culture wars.
****
Something tried to kill me, not sure what but apparently it was an alien that I mistakenly consumed the other day.
During the midst of its attempt to claw through my belly and back to freedom I thought about the house I grew up in. Figured it would be an interesting distraction so I took myself as far back as I could, well beyond the remodeling that my parents did to it.
I walked through the garage, the old sliding glass door to the backyard and climbed the tree in front and the one in the back.
Used the branch that extended to the roof and climbed on top and sat with my back against the chimney. Later I went back inside and opened the trap door that led under the house and hung out there.
If I wanted my own space and couldn’t go anywhere the roof and the area underneath were places I made my way to because I knew I wouldn’t be found.
Sometimes I think about buying the house if it is put up for sale. It has been at least once since my parents sold it and the new owners made multiple changes.
Makes me wonder what I would hear if I sat inside it for 24 hours and listened. Would it make the same noises it used to.
Would the sounds of the neighborhood be the same or would there be a different feel to it.
Don’t know if I will ever live in California again or not, but it will always be home.
Ring My Bell
Been thinking about how happy I am that my daughter is getting what I think of as the full college experience. From my perspective it looks wonderful and from what she tells me my assessment is accurate.
I only hope it continues, got no reason to believe it won’t but a father doesn’t look at the future and assume things will only be one way.
But then again I am not looking to buy trouble either so until I hear/see otherwise I figure everything is copacetic.
Been thinking about dividing my life into thirds just for fun because it is almost a perfect 18 years…times three that is.
Those are decent chunks of time and make for interesting moments of introspection. It is not hard to find a few moments in each chunk that changed my life in various ways.
The last 18 or so have had some exceptionally big moments and forced me to reconsider my perspective and thoughts about life.
There are so many more shades of gray than I had once believed there to be. Some might say some of that sounds like justification for certain actions but I am not bothered by those either.
Guilt isn’t something that adds a ton of value.
That doesn’t mean one should act reckless or with complete disregard of others but some things are simple social conventions and nothing more.
Those things vary from culture-to-culture and that provides latitude that you can choose to take or not.
In my world the question comes down to can you go to sleep at night feeling like you did your best. Might not always feel great but then again you might.
Small victories add up to big ones.
Reminds me of some other things I won’t write about here, but ring my bell comes to mind or should I say more accurately, the damn bells are going off in my head and I don’t think I am the only one.
