A long while back I provided my number one fan with a list of all of the different places you can find my writing and said they’d have to be really dedicated to take the time to try and read it all.
Threw my head back and saw the man in the moon staring at me so I went outside to go run with him. He told me to listen to the whispers in the wind and that soul connections aren’t just broken, but they can be forgotten.
“Your job is to give that spark a reason to burn so brightly the flame becomes a fire again.”
I laughed and told the man in the moon that such conversations might make people think there is something going on.,
“I am not crazy…or am I.”
The words hung in the air and lingered for a moment so they could make sure they were heard and understood.
Later I saw a brief video that began with a man saying to prepare to have our days ruined.
He said that middle age begins much closer to late thirties and those of us who have passed that mark ought to recognize we might not have nearly as much time as we think so we ought to act like it.
The Day You’re No More
Word came today about someone who ended their life and for a long while I stared at the page and considered what to write.
I didn’t know him that well, but I knew him well enough for whatever that means. He was a very fine writer and when he complimented my work I took it as high praise.
It is cliche to say that his demons got the best of him but they did. I always wanted to ask if he thought those demons helped with his finding words to place upon the page.
Why?
Because mine have always done so.
I have gone to war with them on multiple occasions and never lost but I don’t know if that is just dumb luck, fate or some combination thereof.
Might even be argued that fear of missing out is a big part of it because I always wonder what happens if I hang on one more day, one more hour, one minute longer.
The thought that I could miss out on the magic if I don’t stick around a bit longer has always aggravated me.
This is not me offering judgment on others. It is an explanation that provides some insight into who I am as a man but won’t tell you all you need to know.
****
Is it coincidence I found Can you hear me calling your name in the stats or is it something else.
Someone noticed me holding my hands behind my back and asked why I stand like that and I laughed, “blame my Aunt Yetta and my father.”
They sort of cocked their head and I let it be cuz I didn’t feel the need to tell them how dad told me not touch everything in the store and how I held my hands behind my back.
Did it the same way Aunt Yetta taught him to do it and have been doing it so long it is not unusual for me to just do it without thinking.
Except now if I feel like touching the stuff in the store I do so without any fear or regard for the consequences but the five year-old that lives inside, well he remembers.
He remembers and doesn’t think it is fair that adults can make and break rules. Can’t blame him, he was the kid who offered to fight his father so he could get out of being punished.
Got to give that feisty fellow some credit.
****
Partway through Springsteen’s The Live Collection and most of the way through Steve Job’s biography on Audible there is this need to follow a thread of an idea about the future.
Got utter confidence that things I predicted years ago are going to happen. Told that man in the moon that idea is crazy and that is when he dug into his bit on souls along with a bit about free will.
Always makes me snort when people talk about destiny and how it intersects with free will but there is something about it that makes sense to me.
Heck, Indiana Jones and Harrison Ford said things about magic and the force that always make the bells go off inside my head.
Don’t need anyone else to believe or accept it because it works for me and sometimes that is the most important part of making the magic work.
“The Force, it is calling to you. Just let it in.”
Music Break
Everywhere– Fleetwood Mac
The Rising– Bruce Springsteen
I Drove All Night– Roy Orbison
I Hung My Head- Johnny Cash
Wake From The Dream
Bruce is covering Purple Rain and I am thinking about visiting dad’s office somewhere in the late 80s and hearing Prince being played nearby.
Think I made a reference but he didn’t catch it or if he did I can’t remember though I do remember being introduced to a bunch of his colleagues.
He retired before he turned 60 but I can’t see that happening for me unless I win the lottery or get a serious promotion.
That is not necessarily a bad thing, though I am not looking forward to some of the chaos that tomorrow is likely to bring.
Though I expect it might be a learning experience for some. Won’t say more than I don’t usually take bets I can’t win and am not someone who gives up easily.
Remember that curiosity about what happens if we hang on for another hour keeps the fire burning just a little bit longer.
Been a crazy week, but maybe that is just how 2022 rolls.
