Two nights ago I wrote a post about dreams and desires and placed myself in a vulnerable position because opportunity doesn’t come when it is convenient.
It comes when it comes and you either rise to meet the moment or accept that you are passing on something that could be meaningful, significant and of paramount importance.
Of course it is possible it might not be any of those things or it might be something in between anything and nothing. You simply cannot know without asking Monty to show you what lies behind door number one.
Anyhoo, today I put myself through a brutal workout that left me gasping for breath and wondering if I had finally pushed too far.
Stumbled out to the car and fell asleep behind the wheel while listening to music and woke up having dreamt about a band called Sweet June & The Soul Aches.
Can’t tell you much about it other than I intentionally caught a few winks in the car. It is a skill I mastered long ago and one I appreciate because I find parking in a place where I can feel the sun warm my body and enjoy a quiet moment soothing.
Old Heads & Young Shoulders
They call the plans for my electrical and gas providers “budget billing.” It is designed to enable you to average out your monthly bill so you don’t get slammed with larger bills during specific times of year.
Utility bills are something I just didn’t worry about in L.A. but here the weather swings are crazy and so there has been a need to take advantage of these things.
Though energy is deregulated here in my town I have no options for electricity so I can’t play the switch providers each year to get a better rate that others do.
Typically budget billing means I pay one rate based upon the prior six months of usage and it is usually manageable.
I just received the new rate for the coming six months and discovered we managed to secure a significant increase. Can’t say I didn’t expect an increase but this is $75 more than I anticipated. I am grateful to be able to manage it but there is a part of me that’s irked.
A part of me that hears “you can’t screw an old head on young shoulders” which was the mantra beaten into my thick skull as a kid.
Sometimes it was used to express disappointment or frustration in me and sometimes it was tied to some other lesson.
I fought it as I have fought many things but came to understand and appreciate it. Took a few years but age and experience can do much to help you come to accept some things.
Age and experience can also make you come to despise and disagree with other stuff, all depends on what we are talking about now doesn’t it.
It all reminds me again about how specific moments make me wonder what my father and grandfather would say if I asked if my recitation of such things sounded like something I would have done.
My best guess is I would have heard a few affirmations and maybe a “give it time and it will improve” or something like that.
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During the big game this evening between my daughter’s university and the one she almost went to I thought about her schedule for the spring semester and how much harder it is than what I had when I was her age.
Thought about our discussion that the Lonestar state isn’t likely to see us here for a lifetime or much longer than however long it takes her to finish.
Also thought about how many things are different than I expected them to be and how I try not to paint myself into corners.
Some things are really hard to predict and some less so.
But I will say I had a feeling about where she would end up going to school before she actually applied and was correct.
I have the same feeling about a few other things and take those seriously because experience seems to prove the worth of going with those.
Can’t guarantee it, but dammit, there is reason to heed my gut. Is it experience, intuition, luck or a combination of it all?
Hell if i know.
Time to pause for Bruce again.
What Lies Under The Covers
The kid working out on the bench press next to me was throwing 225 around with ridiculous ease. He caught my attention because he looked like a very lanky lad and 225 had to be more than he weighs.
It is a decent amount of weight and something I was able to do with regularity before lock down hit and I stopped going to the gym.
I have mulled over whether it is important to me to try to get back to that for anything other than vanity. There aren’t that many who can do it in general and I suspect fewer still in my age range.
But it is not a move that I think of as functional for daily life. Can’t say there are many moments where I find myself in need of being able to lie upon my back and move heavy stuff.
Hell, I hope to not find myself trapped under something heavy and in need of strength to move it unless it is part of a workout in which I put myself under a bar.
Anyhoo, later in the day I ran out to grab a sandwich at Weinberger’s and listened to some guy try to communicate with someone who doesn’t speak English well.
The guy progressively got louder as if yelling was going to somehow make it easier for the guy who doesn’t speak English to understand him.
It got me thinking again about how I was surprised by the lanky guy at the gym and how we don’t always know what lies under the covers.
I can’t tell you whether the non native English speaker has an IQ of 100 or 185. Can’t tell you whether he is an exceptional artist, mechanic or a janitor.
What I know is that sometimes we ought to take a moment to pause and consider that with limited information we never do know who we are engaging with.
Sometimes it is worth remembering that and give them and us time to discover whatever might be there.
You never know what you might miss or artfully avoid if you take that moment now do we.
