I woke up remembering how in a dream I said, “June we are in a time of reckoning” and smiled because I was in that place between sleep and full awareness.
You know the one where everything makes sense in a way that it doesn’t when the veil between worlds is locked in place between the sunshine and the darkness.
Closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and held onto a scent that smelled like home and that feeling that I had everything worked out.
By the time I stood in the shower letting water so hot it almost burned me that feeling was almost gone.
A wistful smile broke across my face because the clarity that I had held onto was being washed away like the shampoo from my head.
And so it was an hour later somewhere on a freeway between Dallas and Fort Worth I wondered how those connections I had made would work.
Wondered if I had missed something because it wasn’t quite making sense any more and then I let go of it.
“You got this. Everything you have done has led to this moment and you are not going to lose it because you can’t explain why it clicks or doesn’t.
Sometimes you just know things and that is enough.”
Been a while since I read Blink by Malcom Gladwell. It is a book that fits the moment.
Check out the description from Amazon:
Blink is a book about how we think without thinking, about choices that seem to be made in an instant-in the blink of an eye-that actually aren’t as simple as they seem. Why are some people brilliant decision makers, while others are consistently inept? Why do some people follow their instincts and win, while others end up stumbling into error? How do our brains really work-in the office, in the classroom, in the kitchen, and in the bedroom? And why are the best decisions often those that are impossible to explain to others?
That is where this all comes from, this feeling I have and confidence in certain things.
The having processed and filtered all sorts of data and miscellaneous pieces of information.
It is how I am certain about what is said and or left unsaid by people in text or by phone.
Why I know how to read between the lines and hear the deeper meaning.’
Not everyone believes in it but I have had too many experiences that prove it works to believe otherwise. Frankly I am ok if people think it is nonsense or some sort of new age, woo-woo material they can’t buy into.
Some souls talk to other souls or so I heard Johnny tell June in a movie, dream or something.
The women in my world seem to have made an agreement to get sick and or have surgery at the same time.
It is a bit of an exaggeration because there are quite a few who are fine and to be clear those who aren’t 100 percent now should be in the near future.
But the number is large enough that it is noticeable in part I suppose because that circumstances and location have made it challenging for me offer as much help as I would like to.
Spent a few minutes speaking with my daughter to confirm she was fine. Didn’t have any reason to believe she was going to be anything but that and was pleased to see I was right.
Was reminded of a moment from 22 years ago when my paternal grandfather looked at me and said “you’ll never stop worrying. It is not a bad thing, it is part of being a father. That part never goes away. Your dad is almost 60…”
Kind of funny to think about it now because Dad was only 57 then, someone I would consider a contemporary now.
Life changes so quickly and in so many ways.
One of my younger colleagues asked me if I was bothered by being so close to 50. He was trying to tease me.
I laughed and told him I must be doing something right and or have good genes because I passed that number a while back.
He is in his early thirties so I am not surprised, I didn’t have a handle on “older people” when I was that age either.
It is all relative, this aging thing.
I understand so much better why “old people” say they don’t feel old.
And though there are moments where I feel my age in a way I didn’t before those are still rare.
Sometimes I feel it more by the comments and awareness that I am closer to the end of my career than to the start.
Got a target date in my head for retirement and can visualize it but also am in a place where in concept I can see working for far longer because I choose to.
Choice is everything- very different to do something because you want to and not because you have to.
A time of reckoning is coming indeed. Time to ask and answer questions and figure out which path to take or whether to blaze a trail where none exists.
Something tells me that blazing the trail is the most likely option– ought to be interesting.
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