It Is The Stories You Don’t Read

My number one fan probably thinks the headline is directed towards them but it is not though I can understand why they might say otherwise.

The thing is they know where to find everything and choose not to. Sometimes I wonder why but not often because I have a pretty good handle on it.

Some fires burn so brightly you don’t want to get too close unless you are ready for it.

No, it is others who don’t read that make me shake my head because time will come when change isn’t a question of when because it will have happened.

And show I be asked how such things could be I will say there is no excuse for claiming to be blindsided when I have made it infinitely clear where I stand.

There comes a time when you either open your eyes and wake up or you choose to sleep walk into whatever crosses your path.

I am not sleep walking.

Saw two docs this past week because I made a promise to myself to make changes.

Those guys were part of a series and why I have had a couple of procedures and got new glasses.

Part of why I rejoined the gym and started doing more than just listening to the echoes of the future and dancing in the fire.

Writing Less Or Writing More

I met Ray Bradbury at a public library about 40 years ago. It was a scheduled appearance and I listened to him speak but about what I can’t say.

Can’t remember much of it but I remember him signing a book and today I wish I would have had the opportunity to speak with him about writing.

Have done very little blogging here and hadn’t realized how little until today. Not sure exactly why but maybe it is because I am preparing for some changes and doing far less.

Didn’t go to the gym today but that was intentional because I felt like I needed to take a day off from lifting just to give the body a bit of a rest.

As I get deeper into my return and start moving closer to what I used to be able to do there is an inclination to go harder but I am fighting that because sometimes we need to walk before we run.

Funny thing is I never got into dead lifting before now and today I am finding it exceptionally attractive and interesting.

Trying hard to focus on my form and not just brute strength my way through it though I very much want to.

The five-year-old boy inside me never ceases to be interested in how much we can lift and he never worries about getting hurt, good form or anything other than chasing superman.

There are certain hours where the gym is filled with little high school and college boys who parade around like peacocks.

Sometimes they pull the grumpy old man out of me and I glare at them, mostly when they take off their t-shirts and waltz around in pajama pants.

The pajama pants look stupid but I don’t care about that. I am not interested in them sweating on the equipment and dumbbells beyond that which drips off of exposed skin or sweaty shirts.

It is rude and I said something to one of them because I had enough of him standing next to me with his little friend trying to impress a girl who had made it clear she had no interest.

Kid looked at me and I said “she isn’t using the mirror to sneak looks at you or doing anything to indicate any interest. The locker room is that way.”

A couple decades of parenting gave my voice the proper tone and they got the message.

Got The Dark Knight medley playing in my ears and a sudden urge to hit the gym now and probably would but it is closed.

****

Talked to one of the docs and asked a few questions because I was trying to establish some benchmarks and he said I am in very good shape on one and pretty good on the other.

There is something to be said for hearing you are doing better than other men your age that helps and yet there is still moment of “I’d rather know I was closer to 25 in this respect.”

Add this to the list of not trivial but not exceptionally important things I would have spoken to dad about.

Would have liked to just ask him a couple of questions.

Reminds me of the time my 91 year-old grandfather was given a shower by a female aid.

He told me afterwards not to worry because it might be a little late.

Later on my father said “that is one area I wouldn’t bet against your grandfather in if he decided he was truly interested.”

That last part really rings true to me about our motivation to make changes and do certain things in life that might be harder.

If we are truly interested it is much easier to take those steps and go for it.

Been a hell of a week and I am feeling like I am a step between wide awake and being able to shut it down and catch some zzzzzz.

Could go either way, have to decide what I am truly interested in.