There was a time when MTV used to play music videos and we’d watch things like Legs, Boys of Summer or some clip of an older performer singing some 70s song.
Somewhere down the road they stopped focusing on the music and changed their content and I paid less and less attention.
Now I haven’t the foggiest idea when I last watched it or VH-1.
And now we move on to Zeppelin and the words that accompany this post and the thought about what happens when you catch the car.
“In the days of my youth
I was told what it means to be a man
Now I’ve reached that age
I’ve tried to do all those things the best I can
No matter how I try
I find my way to the same old jam”
Inside the unexpected and unforeseen circumstances I don’t have to imagine what I will do nor know all of the details of how I will because something tells me I will.
So I find myself making a mental note of things to be done and lists of what needs to happen inside the kingdom.
Got no good answer for how or why other than to say experience– blew down the walls around Jericho and all that kind of stuff.
Believe or don’t believe it doesn’t really matter because the exception leads to acceptance and so we move on again.
Come What May
Got a few more doctors appointments and a visit to the dentist coming and a itch I have to scratch lest I let it shred what is left of my sanity.
Been walking around testing my strength in a variety of ways and laughing because it reminds me of the kid who couldn’t wait until he was strong enough to do so many things.
And now the echoes of the kid have reached the surface and demand that certain questions be answered.
Maybe it is a part of being almost middle aged, this need to check on a few things and see if they are still viable or stuff that has to be left in place.
It is not easy to let some of that stuff go in a graceful manner because there are things you never believe will change.
Things that have nothing to do with another person because they are either contained within you or they are not.
I hear it calling me and some things cannot and will not be ignored so we hear ourselves say “yalla” and we go forward.
You Build Comfort
“How do you do that? Do you even know?”
It is a question from one of the men at the table but before I can answer another shakes his head and asks for clarity.
The questioner looks at me and says “you build comfort. How do you do that?”
Now I understand he is asking about building relationships. He is asking about establishing credibility and trust.
“I can give you two answers but I don’t know if they will help. Some of it is a natural connection that is built between people. Can’t tell you exactly how or why but sometimes you just click. Some people find it very easy to speak with me and some say I make them feel safe.
I imagine with some it is because our interaction is pretty simple. They have a problem and I have a solution that I can explain in simple terms. The story has a beginning, middle and end.
But the other, hell I don’t know. Some things are chemical or something like that.
I don’t think about it, I just do it.
And believe me, there are plenty of people where that connection never hits. Don’t know why, just know that it doesn’t.
Don’t overthink it, just be yourself and you’ll find them.
One more thing, be confident.”
Six hours later I run the conversation back through my head because it touched upon some important issues that will have to be followed up on.
Two things jump out at me and I snort, shake my head and wonder what else was going on right afterwards because normally I take care of that stuff on the spot.
Distracted I guess, but ok with it because there is electricity in the air where the changes to come lie.
Not sure exactly when they will happen but know undoubtedly they are on their way.
Twenty years later who could have imagined.
