Those five words are an example of an expression that can suffer from ambiguity in both our personal and professional worlds.
They are the kind of thing where context clues provide some help in deciphering their meaning.
Thought about it a bit after dropping my daughter off at college because I used them and for a moment I wasn’t sure if she recognized the manner in which I said them.
I didn’t want her to feel obligated to call but wanted her to know she could call any time. She knows me well enough that I am pretty sure she understood.
But I followed up any way to make sure she understood I am always here. Which I suppose might have been my own feelings about the move coming out.
So very proud, but I’ll miss her and if things go as we hope her time of living with me aside from some brief moments are over. There might still be some summer months but who knows.
Thought about it all during the long drive home. Remembered telling a girl to call me when she was ready and remembered telling a client to do the same.
And then I shook my head, snorted and laughed at myself because if my newly turned 18-year-old doesn’t know all this about me already I have really messed up.
I have my share of mistakes, but there really isn’t any confusion there aside from my trying to figure out how 18 years went by in five.
What’s Two Weeks Or Two More Months
Got a couple more days of vacation left but took some times to do some planning and forecasting and reminded myself to be patient.
Two more weeks or even two more months aren’t significant unless viewed through a short term lens.
If what I hope to put in place happens that time won’t be noticeable and even if I don’t I will forget that it took a little longer than I hoped it would.
****
Walking down the hall of her dorm felt very familiar and yet so damn odd. Got Love Reign O’er Me playing from some room and for a moment I forgot it is 2022 and not 1987.
Couldn’t help but wonder if it was a student’s playlist or some parent. Guess I wouldn’t be completely surprised for a student but I don’t think of them listening to classic rock.
That probably says more about my lack of time on college campuses than anything else.
Anyhoo I was more surprised by how much work people put into decorating dorm rooms.
Wallpaper, carpet, big pieces of artwork and so much more was going on it made me shake my head.
People can spend their money as they choose but some of it seemed like a waste and I also wondered if the roommates had discussed it in advance.
When I was 18 I cared about having a place to sleep and shower but I didn’t require much more than that, full fridge maybe.
I don’t remember ever seeing anything like I saw yesterday in any of the dorm rooms back then but I probably wasn’t paying much attention to that then.
Mothers & Fathers
Five hours into the day I had two armfuls of stuff to be thrown out and followed a line of other dads carrying assorted items to the designated dumpster area.
Listened to the assorted commentary about what it was like to be in this place for the first, second, third of 15th time.
Some talked about finally being empty nesters and others about how the move in process was work even if you had done it multiple times.
One man made a remark about how lucky his son is because there is a 60/40 breakdown of girls to guys. He followed it up by saying something about how the scenery was nice and I told him it was and that I appreciated my daughter having such a nice campus.
I wasn’t entirely sure where he was going with his comment, might not have been the direction I thought it was but I wanted to remind him.
Wanted to let him know the fathers of daughters aren’t blind nor have we forgotten what we were like at 18 or college life.
We had the conversation about watching drinks, being aware of surroundings and having open eyes.
I told my daughter I wasn’t trying to scare her or make her not trust most people but to remember things happen.
Better to keep her eyes open and use good judgment.
****
Back in the dorm I start to see more men standing around while mothers and daughters consult, confer and coordinate the more granular details of moving.
The shleppers are happy to do more but not entirely unhappy to have a moment to stand and process it all.
The transition into the next phase has started for all of us and now we get to watch, see and learn how it all plays out.
It is a hell of a thing, a good thing but still surreal because for 18 years these kids have lived in our homes and now they don’t.
