Dug into an old email address that was once the primary source of electronic communication between myself and others earlier today.
Took a look at some old pictures and exchanges between myself and others and caught a big smile in the reflection of my computer screen.
It reminded me of promises made, dreams shared and all sorts of mundane crap too.
The hours passed and I lit the candle for Dad and let myself get lost in a few thoughts and ideas. Somewhere in the midst of it I remembered Shake It Off by Florence + The Machine.
Can’t say I know more than three or four of her songs, but this one stuck. Got a few of the lines that jump out at me but I’ll limit the share to the ones below.
And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope
It’s a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
‘Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me (oh whoa)
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me (oh whoa)
But what the hell, I’m gonna let it happen to me, yeah
Some of you have been around long enough to know a story or two and to remember promises made and ideas once shared.
A couple of those old emails I glanced at reminded me about how long I have carried some things upon my back.
At times the weight was challenging but I have repeatedly proven that if I am given time to plant my feet I can shift the crap upon my shoulders and move forward.
Some of those emails asked for details and specifics and I am here to say that I did what I said I would, even if it took some time.
That is what I would tell the old man. I’d say the realization there has given me renewed strength.
I’d say that sometimes the scariest thing you can do to those who try to stop you is keep moving forward after they have punched you in the mouth.
Five year-old Josh used to sometimes shout “I have got my power” and then run around the house.
Well I am not shouting, but let’s say the five year-old is screaming triumphantly inside me.
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