The younger Mr. Wilner overhears a conversation in which someone asks how I can be so relentless in pursuit of some things and laughs.
“I can’t explain it, but I can promise them you’re just crazy enough to keep going.”
I smile at him and ask if he wants to know the story of the mistress of tongue and her Kosher salami.
He shakes his head and tells me he is certain I am messing with him.
“I could see you having a real story about something I don’t want to hear about and I can see you coming up with some crazy story on the spot. Where do you get the energy for this.”
It is not a real question so I smile and remind him I do pay attention to what stories I share or do not share with him.
“You know what I want for you. I want you to have that one person that you can tell all of your stories to. You and I can share almost anything, but there are a few boundaries and that is ok.
Remind me to follow up on this when you turn 40 and we’ll see if either of us have different opinions.”
He smiles and reminds me I’ll be old.
“Only 71 and if I have my way I might actually become middle aged at 70 so who knows.”
Watch What You Say & Write
Got advice to watch what I say and write and reminded them I don’t wear a sweater because you are cold nor take off my pants because you are hot.
Sometimes fire dancers and storm walkers feel a little feisty and respond better to requests than orders but not everyone recognizes it.
Tell me to go left and I may do it once and then take four rights for no good reason than because and sometimes you find adventure in the unexpected.
Someone has read He’s The King Of Flatulence multiple times and I wonder if they have found what they are looking for.
The guy from Brooklyn who camped out here and read the post about a submission for the queen is a a new LinkedIn contact who very much wants to sell me a few things.
Some of the stuff he is selling might even be interesting but I don’t have a need for it today. Might have it tomorrow, next week or next month, but not today.
I am curious if he is aware of how many digital footprints he is leaving all over. Curious if he understands how much information about us is out there and available for consumption.
The guy who instructed me on what to write and say tried to use fear to motivate me and I wondered if that works for him.
I am not a big fan of trying to use fear or bullying to attempt change. It is something you have to keep up and that sort of poison can be turned against you, especially if you just irritate the person you’re pushing.
The younger Mr. Wilner and I discussed it not long ago and I suggested we look at a situation and ask what is the worst that can happen.
Sometimes that removes the threat immediately.
For example I once helped out my almost 92 year-old grandfather with a call he received from a collection agent.
It was tied into a discrepancy with a payment that should have been made by his insurance provider.
The collection agency told me that if my grandfather didn’t pay them he would wreck his credit by filing a bad report with the credit bureaus.
The jackass on the phone was so obnoxious and difficult on the phone I took pleasure in asking him to wreck grandpa’s credit.
“He is going to be 92. He won’t ever buy a car, property or anything that requires credit again. You do your worse.”
The guy sputtered and foamed at the mouth and then I wished him a good day and hung up.
So much of our stress comes from not taking a breath and a moment to consider our situation.
That pause won’t fix everything as there are difficult situations that can’t be resolved easily but the benefits of not engaging in knee jerk reactions are legion.
Been A Good Week
Been a pretty good week thus far, even with Vin dying. Not happy about that but at 94 it is not surprising or unexpected.
Though it is kind of surreal to notice how many voices from my childhood to now have gone silent.
That is the tombstone of my Great-Great Grandfather Moses Kramer who died in 1918. Got it validated by a certificate from Cook County records. I was named in part for one of his sons, but I digress.
Ancestry.com offers suggestions we can use to flesh out the stories of our forefathers but not all suggestions are accurate.
There are naturalization papers for a Moses Kramer that show him as having become a US citizen in 1920.
They show a list of children including one who has the same name as my Great Grandfather, except his birth is listed as having taken place in 1910.
I have noticed some people have taken this listing and included in their tree but they haven’t recognized it has to be about another man with the same name.
It is not just because Grandpa Moses died two years before the naturalization but his son, my great grandfather got married in 1910 and the kids started coming shortly thereafter.
I thought about writing some of these people to point out the inconsistencies but I don’t know them and think it might not go so well. Hard to introduce yourself and follow up with “you aren’t paying attention or you would have noticed your research is flawed.”
Anyway I sometimes wonder what my Great-Great Grandfather would think of all this. I haven’t found anything that provides any substantive details about what he thought and or believed.
I can tell you about how many kids he had, can give you background on some of what happened after he died and know that he traveled between the US and Europe on multiple occasions.
But I can’t tell you what his favorite food was, what he liked to do to relax, or anything about any dreams he might have had.
If I leave all this material up and available then in concept whatever descendants come 120 years after me will have much more to go on. They might have a few ideas of what kind of man I am or at least more tools to speculate with.
Bet you didn’t expect to a post about a Mistress of Tongue and Her Kosher salami to go this route, now did you.
Made at least one of you swoon, another roll their eyes and a third think about picking up the phone.
Answers to who those people are are at the bottom of the page. Make sure to scroll down at least 15 times.
