Some of you remember the picture I shared of my dislocated finger but may not recall that a slippery staircase outside of my apartment played a role.
I remember it well because of how irritated I was at the idea of it slowing me down.
It was approximately six months after I had surgery for a double hernia and I was living alone in an apartment in Grapevine.
I stood up and climbed the three flights of stairs back to my apartment and tried to pop it back into place.
Didn’t work. Couldn’t get the angle I wanted though I tried multiple times.
Thought about it earlier while I worked out potential solutions to a particular challenge in my head.
It fit the basic model of Josh can use brute strength and or force of will to put the square into the circle. Age has helped mitigate some of that and I have gotten better at using finesse more often.
I have lived on my own multiple times in situations where I was thousands of miles from family.
That was the case when I dislocated my finger and when I got a flu that made me look so ill the guy who delivered my Chinese food practically threw the food and ran away.
Anyhoo, when I accepted I couldn’t fix the damn finger on my own I called one of the local urgent cares and then drove myself over to get it fixed.
Dad asked me what I would have done if I had broken my leg or an arm. I laughed and said I would have dragged my ass back up the stairs and then down again.
“Remember when you told me I had to take this opportunity and that I had to go. I listened to you and I will handle whatever I have to…alone if need be. It won’t be that way forever. Sometimes you have to do the hard stuff and get it over with…right.”
In my mind I hear remember when we stood at the crossroads but it wasn’t from that moment in time or another but several different moments.
I hear, see and feel them all.
Dance In The Fire Or Burn
A quarter of a century ago when I was a wee lad trying to get people to respond to emails I had sent I had one I called the Dread Pirate Roberts.
It was a tongue-in-cheek piece in which I told people who didn’t respond that I was concerned about their safety and ready to send out a rescue squad.
I said that even though I had given up being the Dread Pirate Roberts I still had the skills I had developed and access to my ship the Revenge.
“If you don’t reply I’ll assume you are trapped under a heavy object, held captive or in need of rescue from something. If you don’t need assistance or won’t require it soon send me a note and a time to follow up and I’ll get you.
Otherwise don’t be afraid when a man in black jumps off of a pirate ship in your neighborhood.”
It was funnier and more clever than my poor paraphrasing of my own work shows and surprisingly effective.
I don’t think it would work now because we are overwhelmed with content and communication.
But back then there wasn’t any social media and the 24 hour news cycle hadn’t hit so there was some novelty to digital communication.
The younger Mr. Wilner fed me my own words today. That kid looked at me and said “you’ll either make it right or you won’t.”
If he would have added “you’ll either dance in the fire or burn” I might have really lost it but he didn’t because I haven’t used that one with him.
But the either/or of the initial comment was spot on and I congratulated for having proved he has listened to me at least once.
He had as much appreciation for that comment as I did when his grandfather said something similar but so comes the revolution.
We stand as our own men upon the shoulders of those who paved the way before we found it.
And thus I come back to that place where it might not be accurate to say I remember standing at the crossroads because something tells me I am approaching them now.
There is something in the air that I have sensed for quite some time and written about more than once.
Got a feeling it won’t be long before the fog clears and clarity brings a better ability to define what that thing is and what it brings.
Kind of exciting, suppose I ought to double check that my backpack is filled with the essentials not that it matters.
I’ll figure it all out as I go, always do.