I saw you at Sinai and then we got lost for several thousand years until we stumbled across each other at a concert but it took decades for us to recognize it.
That is what happens when eons go by, some memories fade and you don’t catch onto the clues that ought to wake you up.
Blame it on science and the desire to use logic and reason to make decisions that your heart and soul could answer for you with far less effort.
That’s five minutes of writing in response to a prompt I participated online some years back. It was based upon the premise that when you hit 50 you only have about twenty summers left.
I didn’t take it seriously at the time because I wasn’t fifty and I come from pretty good genetic stock. Three of my grandparents lived into their nineties and I had great-grandparents and other relatives who did the same.
So it seemed impossible to me that I wouldn’t hit or exceed 100. Figured between good genes, better medicine than in the past and force of will that was enough.
Things changed a little bit after pancreatic cancer took out my father and I started digging into family history and discovered how many of my relatives I have already outlived.
Add the funerals of some friends and a few other things to the mix and I started to think much harder about what it means to live the second half of life.
What if there are only 20 summers left? What if I really am closer to the end than the beginning? What then?
I Have Questions & I Have Answers
Been listening to the Audible copy of The Godfather by Mario Puzo as I walk on the treadmill and drive in the car.
Though I have seen the movie multiple times I haven’t read the book so I was very curious to see how closely the movie follows it.
I am only part way into it but thus far I can answer two questions.
There haven’t been too many differences between the print and film version and I am very much enjoying it. That doesn’t always happen with the audio versions of books.
Some of them are hard to get into, but there have been many where I have been so taken with it there has been no issue with engagement.
It is similar to how I feel when I am reading a really good book, but with a few differences.
Instead of my imagination filling in the gaps on voices the narrator does…mostly. The Godfather is different because I still hear the actors, but I have no complaints.
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Someone asked me to help them on a presentation they have to make. They told me they hate speaking in front of crowds and feared looking foolish.
“Every story has a beginning, middle and an ending. Build an outline and fill in the blanks and you’re done. When you go to buy a car you’re looking for something that is safe, reliable and economical. After that you are figuring out what options are important to you, nothing more.”
They thanked me for over simplifying it and told me that I wasn’t taking them seriously. I shook my head and said they were letting fear blind them.
I tried not to sound snarky or condescending because neither were intended.
“I have a few fears and regrets. Sometimes they creep up and blur my focus. I haven’t always beaten them down as quickly or successfully as I would like, but I have beaten them. You can too. Break it into bite size chunks.”
That is how I approach this idea of the second half. I have questions that I need answers to that will help inform certain choices I will make.
But I also have answers to some of them already.
Empty houses provide more time for introspection and time to consider how to build the map. I pay more attention to it all now, especially given the age of my children.
It reminds me of when my son was first born and my grandfathers told me to appreciate the time because the day would come when the noise that was about to fill the house would be replaced with quiet.
Reached out to a few old friends this weekend and left message saying we ought to catch up because twenty summers may be short of what we really have or a portion of a larger lot.
Can’t say which way it will go for certain, but we can take action so that whatever that number is doesn’t include regret at not having tried to make the most of our time.
