Some people let their grow like weeds during the lock down but I have never been one to go with the crowd so I started shaving it down to the nub like I was in my first week of boot camp.
I had done it once or twice before but hadn’t made a practice of it because I figured without drugs there might be a time when I would have less of a choice.
But a week before my daughter’s high school graduation I decided I would let it grow out and see what happened.
The weeks passed and I was reminded that I still have a ton of hair on most of my head, aside from the front which has been mutinying for a few years now.
Took a hard look at it today and considered whether I liked what I saw.
“Josh old boy, you are traveling this week to a variety of business meetings. Do you want to go like this or make a change?”
I told the reflection that if it handed me a can of black silly string or a black Sharpie I would fill in the gap and then waited for a response.
The good news is the mirror didn’t say a damn word so I grabbed the clippers and prepared myself for a week of travel.
Rent A Convertible
Finished my old/new look and made a mental note to rent a convertible and then laughed. Not going to do it here, but I do miss driving along the coast with the top down and the ocean off to my side.
That is an experience I will have again, maybe not as soon as I wish but probably not that far off.
Thought about it as I listened to Johnny Cash and Ray Charles on a mix I put together a while back. It took me back to a series of conversations and promises made in the past about a potential future.
Back in days in which I had a full head of hair and and no flecks of gray or white.
Poked around in a garage that nature heated like a sauna looking through a box I haven’t dug through since I lived here in 2013.
The goal was to find a notebook from then, one that contained some notes and a combination for an old lock I might need to use for a gym locker or storage box.
Not sure if that is where what I am looking for is or not, but it is where I remember putting it quite some time ago. I laughed at some of what I found and laughed some more when I realized that one of the other places I want to check is my old desk.
I gave that desk to my son when he turned 13 and we moved into a townhouse.
When the time came to move back to Texas I decided it wasn’t worth paying to ship it here so I gave it to a neighbor at the townhouse.
Can’t tell you what happened to the contents of those desk drawers after that, but if you asked me to tell you what was in them when I was 10 I could answer.
It is a pleasant memory but of no practical use for the current time other than writing and storytelling.
****
Had a long conversation with the younger Mr. Wilner about future plans and the impact of past events upon them.
He is old enough to appreciate some of the twists and turns that life brings. We talked about old friends and the importance of having a few that you can always pick up with like no time has passed.
When he asked about one in particular I said it has been a little while so I don’t know everything that is going on.
“Why don’t you call him today? You don’t have to wait for him. You always tell me things happen.”
I smiled and said I appreciate him using my words against me.
“You’re right, I could call today or tomorrow. He had stuff going on with his mom that was keeping him pretty busy. I have tried to give him space to deal with that. He knows I am here and can reach out any time. Anyway, I hope you and your sister don’t get stuck like that. Dementia is hard.”
The conversation moved on to my travel plans and I walked him through my schedule.
“You don’t remember when I used to fly to New York and San Francisco at the old job do you? You were pretty little. I tried to make those short, you guys changed so much so quickly when you were little.
It is easier now. I don’t worry about missing things the way I did then.”
One of those trips was about six months after 9/11. I still remember seeing the soldiers holding M-16s outside of Grand Central while I tried to have a conversation with the man who was a toddler then.
There were thousands of posters of missing people plastered all over the city. I wasn’t afraid to walk around or be there. I figured statistically speaking I would make it back ok.
But I do remember looking extra hard at the people on the plane back to LA and thinking about how many fathers left for work expecting to go home later that day and see their families.
It feels like a lifetime ago, especially when I think about life before 9/11.
The world changed then and we adjusted.
The world changed again and we’ll adjust to that too, guess we’re still waiting to see what that looks and feels like.
