Forty miles into the day after I replaced two tires the TPMS sensor came on and rumor has it I might have scared the longhorn with my response.
Wondered if they had forgotten to recalibrate it or if maybe there was some other issue that I hadn’t thought of so I poked my head into the Costco tire department to ask a few questions.
The first answer I received made as much as sense as saying “what letters come after s and q.”
It sounds like it might have some meaning but if you take a moment to think about it you quickly ascertain it is nonsense. There was no context or reason so I nodded my head and considered telling them it wasn’t substantive.
And if you wonder what the context is there you can read The Convergence Of A Crown, Two Tires & The Bachelor Life and see if that helps shed some light upon it.
The Rules Of The Game
If you look at my Words With Friends scorecard and convert it into a numerical grade it is what you call an F.
Yeah, I have a F in Words With Friends and I have a better vocabulary than most people I know. That is why I thought I would be better than most players.
It wasn’t just arrogant, it was foolish and I should have known better because when you don’t know the rules of the game you are playing it is easy to lose to those who do.
I lost a ton of games to people I was certain I would beat and I lost repeatedly.
Why?
Call it vanity. Call it ego.
I was sure I could figure it out on the fly and I didn’t pay enough attention to how the game is played. It was foolish and not unlike someone who plays chess but never considers that different pieces can move in different ways.
So I got my ass handed to me and learned some humility there.
It was a good lesson and though I didn’t like learning it I am glad I did. It reminded me of multiple things.
- If you don’t understand the rules you either have to put the time in to learn or accept you will take a beating.
- I don’t like losing.
- Losing can be a beating or it can provide an education–all depends on how you respond.
- Peace-of-mind is important and sometimes it is worth paying for.
That last one is only sort of tangentially connected to the other bullet points but I learned to believe in it long ago. I am hard headed, stubborn and tenacious.
Sometimes when I take something on I can give hundreds of hours to it. Many times it has served me well but not always.
Our time is worth something. Our peace-of-mind is worth something. If I am going to take on a particular challenge it is worth considering what the upside is of putting in the effort to build/win/fix the situation.
If I can walk away from it or pay to walk away I sometimes do it now. Let the other person scream at me. Let them say they won and that my walking away proves it.
Let me pay someone who fixes that particular item, assembles that particular project to do it because they can do it faster and better than I can.
More often than not I feel like I won and I take the gift of peace-of-mind with me.
That wasn’t an easy lesson to learn and sometimes I fall short at it, but you’d be surprised how often I don’t.
On The Road Again
Found out I have make like Willie and go on the road again. It is unexpected and until a few hours ago unplanned but that is ok.
I am pretty good at rolling with what life gives me courtesy of having been forced to learn the hard way. That is how I have learned more than a few lessons…the hard way
Comes with being hard headed but as I told the kids hard headed doesn’t mean you don’t learn. I have tried to share some of the hard lessons with them in the hope that they don’t repeat my mistakes.
“Go make your own, you’ll be happier and so will I.”
I guess time will tell, huh.
****
That reminds me of the conversations I have seen and heard about what classes the children will take in college.
Makes me roll my eyes a bit and shake my head.
Another father asked me how much time I spent figuring out my daughter’s schedule. I laughed and said very little.
“Aren’t you worried that she is going to make a mistake.”
“I am sending her away to live on her own. I am not worried about coursework, I am worried about all that other stuff and even then I am not letting myself get crazy. Can’t keep her in a bubble, she needs to fly.”
He didn’t appreciate it but that is ok, I am not raising kids with him. We don’t have to agree.
My daughter asks for help when she thinks she needs it. I am sure there are a few things that she should have asked me about but if I don’t let her fly and fall she won’t ever learn how to do it on her own.
In my eyes that is a failure and I won’t have it.
So unless I am certain she is in dire risk of injury or something I’ll let her do things her way. Won’t be that long before she is paying her own way and my influence will be diminished further and again, I am good with that.
My kids can and will stand on their own. That is and was always the goal.
Won’t say it doesn’t feel a little bittersweet to see some moments arrive but overall it makes me smile because it is what is supposed to happen.
All I want is for them to be happy, well adjusted people who can support themselves. Their professional success isn’t a reflection of me, but their compassion and kindness is.
Priorities.
