“Your mouth looks pretty good, take care of that cavity under the crown and you have no issues. Keep up the good work.”
Looked up at the doc and smiled, “it is only money right.”
“Better this than a root canal.”
I nodded my head, and set up the appointment for the two hour procedure and said no thank you to sedation. “As long as I don’t smell smoke or see flames come from my mouth we’re fine.”
They told me how funny I am and I walked away wondering if they really enjoy my sense of humor or were just humoring me.
That was yesterday.
Today I headed out to Garland, moved on to Mesquite and was on my way to Lake Worth when I ran into a tire issue.
Took four hours to resolve that, including a mile walk to get a late lunch and kick in my wallet but I have four good tires…again.
Got a week or so until I resume my bachelor life for however long that period goes and a self made promise to myself not to miss an opportunity.
I Am Crazy But Not That Kind Of Crazy
One of my sisters sent a picture from the cemetery and I got a chance to look at Dad’s stone. It is the first time it has looked at all weathered to me though I know it really isn’t.
A little water or a broom would clean it up but I am not bothered by any of that because all of the lettering is easily seen and read. That is my primary concern.
Clean or dirty doesn’t change the reality because he is gone either way. We had a conversation about it and I asked him if he thought I am the kind of guy who gets nuts about that.
“I am crazy, but not that kind of crazy. I do things my way and will continue but I am now wasting energy on that. You won’t care. It is not tied into your need to make lists and label everything.”
He smiled and told me again to look out for mom and my sisters. I nodded my head and he told me to live a good life and explained that if it meant making hard decisions to make things better for me I shouldn’t be afraid to do so.
I nodded my head in affirmation.
It is surreal realizing that four years later there are still some fragments of memory from that final run floating to the surface.
Can’t say I am totally surprised, but than again when some things come forward some come with a little kick.
Maybe because of certain recent events and moments that remind me I promised myself to be more cognizant of particular opportunities and not let them pass unnoticed.
Some things and people shouldn’t be taken for granted because life happens and we retain the ability to adjust and pivot.
I will not tread water without purpose, design and intention.
Don’t ask me to put a sweater on if you are cold.
One Day At A Time
Ninety-minutes before the TPMS in the car started flashing I told a colleague about the time we got a flat on the way to Phoenix.
I was around 11 or 12 and sitting in the back seat of our Chevy station wagon on the far when I heard the noise, felt the bump and then listened to my folks talk about whether we had blown a tire.
Dad pulled over and mom and my sisters wandered into the brush of the desert while I stayed close to my father to hold the flashlight or help with other things as he changed the tire.
I remember watching him put the bad tire under the car and then telling me to step back because the semis were flying by.
I didn’t move more than a step and he barked at me.
Looking back I think it was probably a little nerve wracking for him worrying about whether that jack would hold long enough to change the tire, let alone worrying about what might or might not happen to me.
My middle sister talked about his protective nature when she gave her eulogy and that was accurate. He was that.
Though if the car had been blown off of the jack and landed on my foot he might have told me to walk it off. Got hit by a pitch, knocked down during a soccer game and you always heard walk it off.
Ok, there was one other thing during those soccer games that he didn’t yell.
It was a hand on my shoulder and a reminder that on the field I needed to protect myself and that if some boy knocked me down intentionally I should return the favor so he knew I couldn’t be bullied.
Anyhoo, midway between the drive down LBJ to get the tire looked at I thought about that time in the Arizona desert and the 10 million stars in the night sky.
Thought about a million road trips in the car as a kid and all the times since and why I always have a set of tools and a jack in my car to go along with my Triple A card.
Reminded me of bits and pieces from a conversation over the weekend in which someone caught me up on a particular situation and how many questions I still have.
Not to mention the more I thought about it the angrier I became on their behalf. Need to resume that and catch up on all sorts of other stuff.
Thought about how the Big O would approve and then laughed because when I was a kid calling Dad by his first name wasn’t something you did.
I could get away with saying “you know Oscar Robertson was the Big O” but I had to be careful not to push it too far.
“Joshua, I am your father, not your friend.”
Makes me chuckle a bit now thinking about some of that and how I pushed the limits to see where they might lie.
I think upon that and conversations with him and grandpa in which they talked about how sometimes you have to take life one day at a time.
Used to make me a little crazy but it makes sense to me now and has for a long time.
Almost want to pick up the phone and try to call so I can fill him in on so many things but he isn’t taking calls any more.
Got to take advantage of the moments and opportunities we get because sometimes things change and what you were waiting for isn’t available any more.
