Cleaning out the closet and sifting through boxes I stumbled across a fragment of fiction that I am putting upon the page so that I can decide if I want to do something more with it or let it go.
Johnny wrote June a note asking if she had ever been so open and vulnerable and listed thoughts on connections.
Maybe they go away forever or maybe they fade so that we are given the chance to forget what once was. But sometimes the sparks last or something acts as flint for a flame and you remember.
You remember minutes that lasted for moments and moments that would last a millennia. You remember promises made and the hurdles and challenges that found made simple into complex.
And you remember knowing that you could overcome the complex if the will was there.
So much potential that extended from when all we had were words to something that proved it wasn’t a dream or a moment. It was much more and so you could ignore the ache and the walking in the rain, pretend it wasn’t ever something or you could do something about it.
What Is Real & What Isn’t
The best part about aging are the mystery aches and pains that drop in for a surprise visit and a game of 20 questions in which you try to figure out what you did that brought this guest in.
For example, there is a strange ache in my left pinkie and ring finger that feels a bit like a strained tendon and I can’t figure out what happened.
Didn’t notice it earlier or remember hurting it when I moved all sorts of stuff around. It is not enough to stop me from doing anything I want to do but it is enough to be noticeable.
The emergency shut off key on the treadmill was pulled when I was on it the other day and that brought the whole damn thing to a sudden halt.
I felt that in my knees, cursed and then laughed because I never could stop on a dime.
The guys I played pick up ball learned to move if they saw me coming full steam because I was going to go through them. Wasn’t built for grace but demolition, well that I am good at.
Even in my fifties I’ll still dive for a loose ball because I don’t know how else to play. If I am going to be out there the only way I can compete is to hustle. Don’t get to do that kind of stuff very often anymore which is probably a good thing because the body complains a bit when I go hard.
But much in life is related to attitude and belief and I believe that I am younger than my years.
Still I have made some adjustments and some concessions because when you delve into what is real and what isn’t there are some things you cannot fake no matter how hard you try.
Even if I was in perfect shape the body would be reluctant to recover as it once did so I pay attention to some things.
Maybe that is why these mystery aches and pains appear, as a reminder to be cognizant and conscious of some things.
That Is What I Do
There was a point in my career at which I wanted a sign like the one above. When people asked what I did for a living I would point at it and say, “that is what I do.”
Never did get the sign but I still do some work online so maybe there is still time.
Going to keep this short because I have got a chunk of things left to do this on fine Saturday night and this music makes me feel like getting back on the treadmill.
In the middle of listening to Trejo on Audible so I might grab that too. Think I have listened to about 100 books or so during the last five years.
Been a wide variety ranging from straight fiction by people like Stephen King, Tolkien and Terry Brooks to non fiction by Neil Tyson Degrasse, Heather Cox Richardson and biographies like Bruce Springsteen, Mel Brooks and Trejo among others.
Different sort of experience than reading books, sometimes much more entertaining and sometimes much harder to get into.
But it all helps stimulate the mind and gets me thinking about lots of different things. Brain always needs activity and learning never stops.
