The comment surprised me not because it was bold but because it was tone deaf.
I was within a moment of suggesting the speaker carefully consider their next words when we had to end the conversation for other reasons.
Sometimes people ignore or are oblivious about the boundaries some conversations ought to have if relationships are to remain intact.
There are things you cannot say to someone else unless it is under specific circumstances or you hold a particular role.
If you have ever heard me say “you can discuss it with me when you share my bed” you know that you are a step away from either offering to do so and finding out if that saves you from the consequences of what you said..
In some areas I am very forgiving and in others…not so much.
For better or for worse there are things that I never forget hearing and I can’t tell you what comes afterwards. That is not a threat or anything like that. It is a simple explanation of part of who I am.
It reminds me of a conversation with a family member in which I said they need to recognize how blunt they are in their manner.
“It is who you are and in many ways a very good quality, but there are moments where you will need to soften your approach or deal with some misunderstandings.”
The person who irked me earlier isn’t that kind of person which is part of why I was more irritated by their inability to keep it to themself.
Who Can You Speak With…Forever
I gave a presentation earlier this week that was supposed to be for 15 minutes but I was asked to stretch it out so I went for close to an hour.
If you haven’t done any public speaking you probably don’t know how long three minutes can be, let alone an hour. It is not the same as getting on the phone or grabbing a cup of coffee with a good friend where you can just ramble on.
I asked a few people who sat through it to tell me what they thought and interestingly enough this time I didn’t want them to keep it to themselves.
This time I wanted to know if they felt like there was a beginning, middle and end that told a coherent and intelligible story.
I wanted to know if they felt like I was a cure for insomnia or if they got something out of it. It was part curiosity and part need to hear criticism for the sake of improvement.
They said I did well but I think I derived some benefit from their being relatively few experts on this topic in the room.
Blogging helped save my butt because part of the talk revolved around writing and storytelling so I was able to incorporate some of what I do here and on the other blogs into it.
****
I was thinking again about some of the others and the reader(s). Some of those incorporate conversations in which there is real dialogue and some in which there is none.
There is my voice speaking and no indication it is heard. No indication it makes any sort of impact at all. Sometimes a monologue is a fine thing and sometimes it offers little sustenance.
I suppose it all depends upon what you hope to accomplish and achieve with the particular project you are working on.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter to me because of a love for writing and a desire to continue pumping out content. Sometimes it does because as much as I can say silence is agreement there is always a question around it.
