Midway through a conversation someone notices I am not speaking and asks why I am silent.
“I don’t fight to be heard. If you constantly interrupt, talk over me and make jokes about my being quiet you’ll quickly find I am done.”
I get paid to engage in small talk, ask questions and to know when to shut up and listen. It has made me try to be more conscientious of my listening skills and to be far more aware of others.
It irks me to be told I am not giving enough details when some people don’t recognize they’re the source of the problem. If they would refrain from inane chatter for 30 seconds they would get the beginning, middle and end to the stories they are curious about.
There is a reason why we hear expressions like “it is why we you have two ears and one mouth” and it is not because ears are convenient handlebars.
The girl that flips between calling me Abba and Dad and I spent a chunk of time talking about public schools versus private and big versus small.
Went back and forth about the pros and cons as best we could and now it is time to sleep on things and see how things feel in the morning.
If I have it figured out accurately I don’t think there are right or wrong answers. I don’t think we can identify things with the kind of clarity that makes it impossible not to acknowledge that one is superior to another.
Reminds me a bit of a discussion I had with one of the guys about the different women we could have married.
In some cases it was very easy to compare and say XYZ would have been a nightmare or PDQ might have been alright, but overall it can be difficult.
Because you can’t see the future. You can’t see who is going to surprise you in the best ways and who in the worst.
Some of the people we know who got divorced had great girlfriends who turned out to be horrible wives.
And hell, life happens and you can’t foresee how some of that will change you. You can’t see if it brings you closer together or pulls you apart.
The only way you find out is to walk the path and see what happens.
Given all I have been through and experienced I know this is true. If there is any benefit of having been up against it and come out the other side it is the strength gathered from it.
I have a long list of things I am grateful for and sometimes silently repeat it when things seem tough. But it has also prepared me to do more than just consider hard choices.
It is why I can walk away from things and people. It is why I don’t need to fight to be heard.
Those who want to know what I have to say and or think will listen and those who don’t won’t hear from me any more than I hear from them.
Life is too short.