It took six weeks since I returned from Los Angeles for me to remember where a particular moment from my past took place.
The backstory to what it was and why it matters aren’t important or relevant to anyone but myself but it won’t stop me from telling you I muttered “it happened on Hampshire Road and shook my head.
Don’t know why it took so damn long to remember, especially since I used to pass the Hampshire exit off of the 101 with enough regularity for it to be quite familiar.
For those few of you new readers who have interest in learning more about what makes me tick that might provide useful insight as to how relentless I can be running some things down.
It is a double edged sword that need to gather certain details and get answers. It takes discipline to focus it and not let it drive you crazy about things best defined as narishkeit.
Should I Be Offended
Someone told me today that when they hear Hebrew spoken they want to check their shirt to see if someone spit on them.
I wasn’t sure what to make of that remark. Wasn’t sure if they thought it was funny or if I should be offended. I have a pretty thick skin for many things and there is a part of me that took it as nothing more than an ignorant comment.
Instead of jumping on him I looked him and recited a couple of different lines in Hebrew and asked him if he felt the need to wash his arms.
He didn’t say anything, not a word.
I let the silence sit and then took the conversation back to where its focus had been.
Hours late I replayed it in my mind and tried to decide how much it bothers me. It is the ambiguity of it that irks me. I might feel better if I thought he was intending to be offensive or trying to be funny.
There will be some future interaction with this person so I may stay quiet and see if there is a repetition of that expression or something similar. if there is I will say something and if not I’ll let it go, but I won’t forget it the way I went blank about Hampshire Road.
Too much history for me to ignore off color comments. There existence isn’t proof that bad things will come, some people say stupid things without any regard for how dumb they make themselves look.
But it won’t hurt to remember what was said because we look for patterns as a tool to identify how people act and behave.
Ripples Through Time
A friend posted a picture and video of the cantor from the shul I grew up with singing with some kindergarten kids. A few people commented on how nice it was to see that and I nodded my head, not that anyone could see me nodding.
We were around long enough for me to remember the cantor before him and the things kids said in Hebrew school about how different our Bat-/Bat Mitzvahs would be with the new guy.
The new guy who long ago turned into the old guy holds a special place in my heart for multiple reasons but the primary one comes from an experience when I was 35.
In April of 2004 my folks flew out to New Jersey to meet their newest grandson. That was the trip where Dad had a heart attack and a two week trip turned into months in the hospital.
It was also the first time I made a mad dash for the airport and flew across country not knowing if he would still be alive when I landed.
The flight back from Newark to LAX was almost as nerve wracking because even though he was technically ok I was concerned something would happen while I was in the air.
As it happened the cantor was in New York for a conference and coincidentally was on the same flight back from the East to LA.
Anyhoo, he sat next to me and for five hours we just talked. He didn’t give me a bunch of religious reasons for why I should have faith or be comforted. He didn’t make any sort of excuse or commentary on bad things happening to people.
He sat and talked to me like a person and not like a congregant.
I learned some things about his kids and his family and heard real thoughts. I am eternally grateful as it was about the best I could have asked for.
He was and is a mensch.
If I can provide that kind of comfort for someone I will have done something invaluable and in some small way helped to pay it forward.
Little ripples in time from now to then stick out in my mind.
These are the moments that help forge our character even when we think we are old enough for such things to have already taken place.
****
It has been a hell of a week and so many things have happened, some very good and some not so good. It feels appropriate to end this post with a quote that some have said should be attributed to Teddy Roosevelt.
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
