The Doctor’s Appointment That Hasn’t Happened…Yet

“Have you made an appointment yet?”

“Nope. Got other stuff I have to take care of first.”

“You need to get that done.”

“Got a lot of things I need to get done and some people, places and things aren’t cooperating with me so I have turned my gaze upon them and give them my special version of T.L.C.”

“Some things get worse if you wait.”

“Allow me to quote the estimable Arthur Morgan when he was confronted with a threat of eternal damnation.
‘I hope Eternity is hot and terrible, otherwise I’ll feel I’ve been sold a false bill of goods,’ don’t ask me who he is because you won’t know him. I like the sentiment.”

The silence I asked for comes along with a look that suggests I have forgotten all of Dale Carnegie’s advice on how to win friends and influence people but I am ok with that.

I have my own plans and I’ll get to some things sooner than people expect but after I handle some other stuff.

Given a choice I’d hop on a plane to go wander the streets of Jerusalem or find a cave near A Kingdom By The Sea, especially now.

Hell, I’d make like a Druid and dance around Stonehenge instead of some of the stuff that is occupying me now. There is nothing horrible that I am aware of but there is a lot of stuff and the anticipation of the what ifs and what mights is getting on my nerves.

I suspect that this feeling now is what led 3-year-old Josh to be the terror who introduced himself and then punched other kids.

It is a funny story now, but I am sure it wasn’t particularly funny to my parents or to the other kids I clocked but I digress.

Do Your Best

Digging through the family history I have come across more information about aunts and cousins that caught my eye.

My maternal grandmother was about 5’6 and several of the family records suggest that wasn’t uncommon as one of her aunts was 5’7.

I have seen and heard several stories that support this and like a good big brother am tempted to share this information with my sisters, none of whom are that tall to say they could have been.

They weren’t helped by grandma or the aunts marrying men who were their height or shorter but love is blind and  in the depression none of them could afford high heels.

Ok, I can’t say the last part is true or false but it sounds reasonable so we’ll go with it. That is how some of this genealogical research goes, people use what they consider reasonable assumptions to build facts.

That bit about reasonable assumptions chaps my hide a bit because I think some people aren’t good about researching the facts and they get sloppy.

My Great-Grandmother Sadie Kramer wasn’t the only woman of her time with that name but I can assure you that some of the information out there is based upon a different Sadie because I know she wasn’t living where some people put her.

Good old Grandma Sadie who gave my mom her first red lipstick and used to go dancing with men because Grandpa Julius wasn’t as fond of dancing. I am guessing about the second part, no one has been able to answer that one for me…yet.

I never thought twice about whether getting a red lipstick is a big deal for women or not though I do know a few who won’t leave the house without it.

Though I know many things, that is one that I never paid any attention to though I have faint memories of my middle sister sneaking makeup to middle school.

****

Some of the crap that is weighing upon me a bit will be taken care of this week and I’ll get to stop wondering what will be.

It is not hard to hear my old man’s counsel on this one, “do your best, it is all you can do.”

That is true and I have had pretty good success at compartmentalizing and not worrying about it until this weekend.

But the time is finally almost here and the first part begins tomorrow morning. Did my best to prepare and soon I’ll find out what that preparation is worth.

It is not all me. This reminds me a bit of a group project from my school days. The work was rarely allocated fairly so someone often got to ride the coattails of others.

Suppose I’ll know soon if I share the good credit or take the bad alone which leads to another Dadism.

“You have to play the hand you are dealt.”

I once asked Grandpa Wilner about people who dealt from the bottom of the deck. He said if you land a good punch in the nose they’d shape up.

“What happens if you break their nose and they keep coming?”

Grandpa laughed and said that might be a good time to see if you were wearing track shoes cuz you might need to run. It was also why he said a roll of quarters was useful as it helped adjust their attitude, but again I digress.

Groucho Was Right

I quoted him to a couple of people not long ago. Neither was familiar with him nor did they get the full impact of his wisdom.

Perhaps it is my own fault.

Perhaps I didn’t have a good delivery but I made the effort so that is worth something. Sometimes you have to go through the motions and see if it works.

You can always go Culture Club on them and ask if they really want to hurt you or you can be very direct and let them know they are among the finest representatives of the Certified Professional Schmucks of America and you know they hold Doctorates of Assholery.

Sometimes letting them know you recognize their expertise in their field of study yields benefits and sometimes it generates other responses.

That is why Grandpa Wilner’s suggestion to keep a roll of quarters in your palm is especially useful. It helps provide a solid attitude adjustment or so I have heard.