“You better get back to Texas because the weather is going to get nasty.”
Looked at the phone and wondered if the person who left the voicemail had looked at my calendar because I wasn’t scheduled to be in L.A. for as long as they thought I was.
It was a quick in and out, about a day shorter than I had hoped to make it but it was a last minute trip so I did what I always do, made it work.
Can’t say that I wouldn’t have preferred to miss the coming cold but it is not novel anymore so I’ll manage.
It is as blurry as I expected it to be.
A few hours ago I stood in the garage trying to figure out when I am going to take Dad’s tools back with me while trying to figure out if there was time to help Mom with any other projects.
Fixed a dresser, moved stuff, went through some of Dad’s things that we hadn’t sorted through, took care of some electronics and told him that he left me outnumbered again. Not one brother, but bucket loads of sisters.
“What is your story old man, can’t you answer.”
Blogged last night but the hotel Wifi died right as I finished so I couldn’t post it until this morning. Went a little crazy trying to find some stuff that magically disappeared in my room and reappeared in other places.
Maybe I moved it, but I am doubtful and there wasn’t anyone else in my room.
Spent almost two hours driving back from Mom’s to the car rental place by the airport so I had plenty of windshield time to think.
I had forgotten about a a few people who said nothing to me when Dad died. Not one word, no sorry, no condolences or congratulations. Not a single acknowledgement.
Long ago I taught my kids that you always say sorry. Doesn’t have to be anything more than that, just acknowledge and if appropriate you can say more.
And I remembered those who spoke up. I remembered those who I had little to no contact with prior who made a point to check on me and confirm I was ok.
Death is hard for some people and I recognize it makes some uncomfortable. I have dealt with it quite a bit. Been to funerals for friends my age and more than a few family members. It is not a party but I am not afraid of it.
Hell, I am not afraid of dying either. It will happen regardless of my feelings though if I have my druthers it won’t be painful, involve being burned or eaten alive or choked by evil Brussels Sprouts.
Got a watch my grandparents gave Dad for his high school graduation. It is engraved with his initials and says it is from “Mom and Dad.”
Got a picture of one of my Great-Great Grandfathers with his wife and kids from about 1890 and information about another Great-Great-Great Grandfather who was born about 1824.
That is almost 200 years ago, so figure his parents were probably born around the turn of the 18th century.
Even if we have what is considered a longer lifespan we’re barely vertical on this planet long enough to be noticed or to make a mark.
If you are not extraordinary on a larger scale there is a good chance you’ll come and go and perhaps be forgotten.
That is anathema to some but it doesn’t bother me as much as the idea of not taking advantage of the time we have here.
If you are just passing through life with the wrong partner, dead end job or any of the other traditional issues you are blowing it or at least you are in my mind.
You don’t have to make an impact upon millions or even hundreds but to live a life of value and worth. Only need to touch a few to move from ordinary to extraordinary or at least that is how I see it.
Two days ago I stood the edge of the Pacific watching sailboats while making business calls.
Tomorrow I’ll wake up to a low of 31 and check to see if there is a still a threat of snow later this week. I’ll one step farther from the time when I could pick up the phone and expect Dad to answer and one step closer to whatever changes are coming.
That includes one step closer to the end of me and though I expect that to be many decades from now it might go far faster than I like.
So the plan is to keep pushing hard and to and lean in so when people ask what my story is I have a pretty good answer.
Don’t want to be Johnny singing Hurt.