Dad showed up in my dream last night. I remember a few fragments of our conversation.
It started with his asking for my help with a project that was only going to take five minutes but I didn’t believe that because they always took longer.
I heard myself say, “I said woman, you could be my YLC if I still chose to let you.”
Dad laughed and said you can’t predict what will happen.
We locked eyes, I handed him the ChannelLock and told him I was impressed he could still get down on the floor and get back up again.
When I woke up it took a moment get myself together because it felt like he had just died again.
Been a while since it caught me like that and so I just let it roll over me and waited the way I did when I used to go body surfing at Zuma beach.
Thought about the times I stayed in the surf and the times I swam just past it. A million summers of coming back home with the smell of salt water in my nose and the memory of the pull of the surf upon my body.
On With The Show
Freddy Mercury and the guys are keeping me company as I think about the road that lead to this place but no one sees the smile upon my face, a mix of wry and bemused.
Got word that another of my cousins has died and it confirms I am one step closer to middle age.
Some of you might argue that point, some of you who have built coventrees and seen much of the interior of the castle walls have strong opinions about such things.
Could say I know things and list 15 reasons why I am correct and a bunch of other stuff but that would contradict some of this predicting the future thing.
Still as a Doctor Of Destiny I feel secure in saying I can predict many things and that the two most likely things are just as probable as improbable.
There is a neighborhood app that I often think of deleting because reading the comments and conversation there is a good incentive to adopt misanthropy as a profession.
I have kept it because occasionally there is merit in using it to find resources for trades and services that I might not be aware of.
The other day I noticed I need to adjust the filter because I was catching comments from neighbors in Southlake and Grapevine and I don’t live in either place anymore.
Truth is I have seen some of the commentary for neighborhoods back home and other places that in theory have people whose political beliefs are more in line with my own and they’re ridiculous too.
That is because people in general are ridiculous and unlike some of my friends I think they always have been.
If you are among the 17 long time readers you already know this is one of my beliefs, but I’ll repeat it again.
We like to think we act based upon logic and reason but that is often untrue.
Ask those who have witnessed great atrocities to explain how such things happen and some will say we have to look at such things in the context of the time.
That doesn’t work for me because we have ample examples of bad things that happen during times when we absolutely knew better.
Still I believe on the whole people are good and there are tens of thousands of examples of our kindness and compassion towards others.
The approach is believe people are good but don’t let that prevent you from recognizing when the good person is trying to stab you.
Got word about another dozen people who have tested positive and ordered more N95s.
Went back and forth with someone for the 198th time about the difference between fear and good judgment.
I am not afraid of Covid19 and I absolutely do not believe it will kill me. That is not my fate. But common sense says there is no reason to be reckless or to find out if I am wrong.
No reason to find out if it would cause lasting damage that would impact my quality of life for an extended period of time.
So I live my life, but I am cognizant of what I choose to do or not do.
And I am very interested to see what impact the pandemic has upon our lives post pandemic but not in the negative sense that so many others have adopted.
I want to see if the research leads to medical breakthroughs that provide cures and or improvements for our collective health.
I want to see if necessity leads to invention and ingenuity that leads to other improvements in our lives.
Big events force change and impel us to not let inertia guide our choices. They make us wake up, take notice and recognize the world is no longer as it once was.
After I told Dad I was impressed he could still get up and down he told me he knew I hadn’t planned on any of this.
“Life happens when you are thinking about making plans just as easily as when you aren’t paying attention. You’ll figure it out and it will work.”
That is what was echoing in my ears when I opened my eyes and realized I was dreaming.
I am not a kid and I don’t have to have him here but I wouldn’t mind having the option of reaching out if and when I wanted to.