“Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
And strap your hands across my engines
Together we could break this trap
Well run till we drop, baby well never go back
Will you walk with me out on the wire
`cause baby I’m just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if love is wild, girl I want to know if love is real”
Born To Run– Bruce Springsteen
It is the last night of my vacation and somehow I have managed not to do much of what I planned on doing during the week I took off from work.
Can’t say I got nothing accomplished or that I wasted it but I let myself get lost in Ancestry.com and a chunk of time working on cleaning up coding issues in some of the older blogs.
And now it’s almost 11 PM and I am slowly refocusing my view upon the return to work and thinking about business travel plans.
Intermixed are thoughts, questions and ideas about the family history I have been working on. I have 10,000 questions and few good leads to follow up on some of them.
Curiosity drives me after some, did the aunt who gave up the baby love the father? Did she know him well or was it just one of those things that happens.
Maybe bad circumstances and or timing caused a fracture. Wouldn’t be the first or last time someone walked away because they thought that was an issue.
Can’t beat timing or can you.
Well, I think you can but that is a different story.
The Choices We Make
Have to double check but I think I have at least another week to ten days of vacation I have to take by the end of April or I’ll lose the time.
That is not going to happen, there will be no vacation lost but there is a question about what I’ll do with it.
Got to hit Austin, Houston and LA among other places for work and might tie in some of that vacation time to one or more of those trips.
Some of it depends on the impact of Omicron and other time requirements which adds an unwanted degree of complexity to it all but that is life.
It is not about saying there isn’t time to do the work and personal stuff or that they are too complex it is solely about the will to work on it.
There is always so much that needs to be done and the same 24 hour time frame in which to do it.
I suppose it is fair to say I spent more time on this vacation just being than doing because I needed to decompress a bit.
It took conscious effort to do that and if I was as successful as I hope I’ll feel less burnt out. Still it is fair to say I spent a significant chunk of time trying to prepare for the time off so that I didn’t feel the need to check my email/voicemail every day.
Absolutely did better with that than I have done in the past and some of that is because of the prep work.
But now as the weekend moves towards the first work week of 2022 and the squeal of the grindstone can be heard I feel a shift.
I suspect that sense of change is part of what messed with my sleep last night. Got all of four hours and that won’t do.
Really need about six hours to function well, though I can manage on fewer but it is harder than it used to be.
Kind of rambling here, maybe more than normal but all the time spent on coding and digging through various documents wore me out a bit.
Might have to finally shut down a couple of the blogs, especially those that aren’t being read much. Might combine them, not sure yet.
Really does come back to time and how much energy I am willing to put in. There is very little that can’t be done, all a question of will.