For those of you who didn’t read the prior post and want to see if I mentioned you the link to the magic place is here the rest of you can keep reading.
Keep on keeping on to see if I spill the secrets of the universe or something of lesser import but still of interest.
Got a big week ahead of me in which I am going to learn whether some of the things I set in motion work as I intend them to.
Some inquire if that means I am hopeful and I told them if hope comes into play then I haven’t done a proper job of preparation. I cannot rely upon hope for this particular moment.
But that isn’t tied into the Chanukah miracle I am thinking about because that is a very different situation and hope might be more appropriate for that.
Superstition won’t let me spell it out in detail but I’ll say I have spent almost 20 years searching for answers and figure it’s time to mix things up.
A thousand years ago and a day when M.L.B.F. was a series of letters and Coventry was only a place I knew in England I worked at a radio station.
My primary job was pull news stories off of the wire and convert them into copy the announcers could read during the broadcast.
The job started around 4:30 A.M. which meant I had to shoot to roll out of the house by 4 A.M. to get their on time.
I was in my early twenties so there were some nights in which I didn’t go to sleep because it was easier to pull an all-nighter than try to pull it off of two hours sleep.
Most of the time I got there without issue but there are two moments that stick out, one Chanukah in which I a bad batch of latkes almost took me out.
I made it in, but I was late and the guys at the station were certain my intermittent sprints to the closest water closet were because I had been drinking. We had it out and it was ugly.
The second moment came because a female companion did not want me to leave and did their best to compel me to stick around. That came soon after the latke incident and made for a good life lesson.
People may not notice that you have been on time 983 days in a row but they damn well will notice if you are late twice in two weeks.
Almost 30 years later it is tied into why I prefer to work out of a remote office in which I am judged by the quality of my work and not by a clock.
Saw a picture of my oldest nephew the other day and shook my head because in some ways he looks very much like I did at almost 22. He isn’t my twin, but my sister and some of her old friends noticed it first so maybe there is something there.
He is doing some of his own writing now, has some talent. I don’t know if he knows his uncle’s writing background and won’t volunteer anything unless asked. That is his gig.
Thought about it a bit when I was helping my daughter with college essays because I have opinions, thoughts and ideas for how to improve things but I don’t the work to read with my voice.
My goal is to help tighten things up, edit for grammar and spelling and confirm there is a beginning, middle and end.
Those aren’t like blog posts in which you can wander around in circles and not worry if you are addressing the question(s).
Those radio days I mentioned earlier intersected with the college newspaper and helped prepare me for a future in which I had hard deadlines and money tied to the timely production of content.
Sometimes I take a moment walk after midnight and look around the quiet of the night in search of answers I don’t expect to find in the sky.
Every now and then I see the twinkle of a star and stop to see if maybe that is the one that holds the key to the magic that I know hasn’t left.
Sometimes I stand out there half expecting to find myself on the balcony of the Fort Worth apartment with a companion discussing anything and everything like old times.
And then I remember where I am at and laugh because old times move into the present so there is no reason why such things can’t happen now.
It is an active choice to do or to do not. A chance to make like Hamlet and proclaim “to be, or not to be.”
Choices & Decisions
Won’t say I haven’t ever hoped for a miracle because there hasn’t ever been a reason in which I felt it hurt to do so.
As long as I didn’t place all of my hope in that single basket I figured it wouldn’t hurt. And I almost always tried to do something to actively influence whatever situation that was tied to.
Got to have some hope or life is way too hard and way too long.
But if you want to see miracles and appreciate them you also have to understand that life is about choices and decisions.
Sometimes you have to go against the grain and do what soothes your heart and feeds your soul or lie down and be steamrolled.
You know where I position myself and my willingness to dance in the fire so that I can get the answers or at least feel like I tried to.
Always better to try and fail than fail to try.