It is another Saturday night on the keyboard and one in which stories may or may not be shared.
Been playing with numbers for those who like math and figured out a few things for nor particular reason other than because.
Because I lived in Texas for about a year and went back to LA some people thought this was never a serious thing to me. So I decided to figure out roughly how long I have been here.
You can call it 62 months or:
- 45,574 hours
- 2,734,463 minutes
- 164,067,815 seconds
Hell, you can say it is long enough that I voted in two different presidential elections or that I split almost half of my forties between Texas and Los Angeles.
It is 27 months since I was last in Los Angeles or if you really want to play with numbers it is:
- 20,086 hours
- 1,205,181 minutes
- 72,310,862 seconds
That is almost as long as the time in between when I moved back to L.A. and back to Texas again.
Make of that what you will but understand I don’t make big decisions lightly nor am I afraid to make them.
I do the best I can based upon the information I have. Some of them were terribly hard and made at significant personal expense. It required setting aside some dreams with the hope of picking them back up again.
Never knowing for certain if it would happen or if they would end up like some lonely shmata that had been lost.What Do You Want From Me?
A while back I was asked to articulate an answer to that question. I repeated it and said I had the same question.
“What do you want from me? I have been pretty clear in what I have said but that clarity hasn’t been returned and I haven’t demanded it.”
It came up during a mentoring session with someone where I told them that part of why I am very good at my job is instinct.
“I know things. Some of what I know can be learned, but not all. I can see things play out in my head and anticipate how to make things happen. I go with my gut and I adapt, pivot and adjust as needed but I have a general idea of where I am going.”
They laughed and said so much of what I do is unexpected and random they couldn’t figure out what I would do.
“You don’t want to reinvent the wheel but you also don’t want to try to imitate everything others do. Work smarter and understand how to adopt and adapt what you learn so that it is natural and organic for you.”
I don’t know if that made sense to them though they said it did. So much of this is like writing, I don’t think about what I am doing. I just do it.
It is a step more mechanical than breathing in that I sometimes have to think about it, but not always. And even some of the more complex pieces flow with little effort.
The complexity and struggle typically comes if I think too hard about it. If I start to wonder and worry about whether people will understand, appreciate and like what I have put on paper that creates issues.
Not always, but enough for me to be cognizant that sometimes I need to type, check spelling/grammar and hit send/publish.
Those who don’t appreciate, like or understand aren’t likely to change just because I spent large amounts of time working on it.
Some people just get you and some never will.
The younger Mr. Wilner and I had a conversation about the future and our ability to plan and anticipate things.
He told me he had some concerns that he didn’t have one specific goal in mind for a career like some of his friends do.
I laughed and told him that I understood.
“Sometimes you have to give yourself time to go try out a few things and see how they feel. Who you are today isn’t who you will be in the future. Some things will change and that is ok.
Chart a course that provides you with stability but the ability to change course if you need to, especially when you have fewer responsibilities.
And remember, even fifty somethings decide to mix things up and change their lives. You can be nervous but you don’t have to let fear rule your life.
Do the best you can with what you know and you’ll figure it out. Life is as complex or as simple as you make it.”