“What are you going to do if you have to spend time with them every month?”
“I’ll start working them and I’ll figure out where the lines are and try not to cross them.”
“You mean you’ll start crossing them and go searching for ways to press their buttons.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. You’re famous for that that kind of nonsense. Isn’t that your M.O.?”
“No, not really. But if you put me in a position in which you expect to press my buttons you ought not expect I won’t be playing my own game of chess. But I hope not to have to, I am getting too old for this crap. Hurts my heart.”
Sometimes you don’t realize what really hurts your heart until you do more than just talk or think about it.
Sometimes you have to write it down and write about it. Learned that long ago during a period referred to as it is June’s bedtime reading.
Late night writing and thinking about what is important, what is meaningful, what is wanted and what is needed.
Two days ago I was on the verge of making travel plans to hit Little Rock, Nashville and some small town in Kentucky.
Got me thinking about my grandfathers and the stories they told me about their days traveling.
There are towns all over the country that have newspapers that say it is 2021 but in many ways those places resemble a time my grandfathers would recognize.
Lots of modern stuff going on there too, more than enough to ascertain Doc Brown hasn’t given us a Delorean that has taken us back in time.
But there are moments where it is hard not to wonder.
Won’t be all that long before I am on the road visiting Austin, Houston, San Antonio and a dozen other cities inside and outside of Texas.
Won’t be long before I’ll be back at the airport and unlike this last weekend it won’t be for a pick up.
I hear, see and smell things that can’t be ignored without consequence.
Had a discussion with someone who disagreed with some things and I told them if they don’t like it they don’t have to come to my funeral.
Once I had a moment to finish cursing and catch my breath I shook my head and laughed because some things don’t die that easily.
Some things have a course they have to run and it doesn’t matter what you say or do they are going to run the full course.
Does that mean it is fate or karma?
Yes and no.
I am convinced we have free will but I am also convinced some of these things will come back up repeatedly until we stare them in the eye and make a determination about what direction we choose to go in.
Got to play the hand we are dealt and you don’t get to fold or walk away until you have reached a certain point.
Don’t care if that sounds logical, rational or reasonable, life has proven it to be true.
You get that one kiss and nothing is the same until Mr. Toad drops you off and you figure out what comes next.
The younger Mr. Wilner told me a few things today that made me shake my head and smile. That guy is on his way in so many ways. Can’t say I am totally surprised because I am not, but I am more pleased than I can tell him.
Reminds me of when his grandfather told me he was going to figure things out in his own way. I believed him but I hoped he wasn’t as stubborn as I am and that he wouldn’t take a beating just to prove me wrong.
Kid walked around with a broken arm for two weeks before seeing a doctor and I am famous for my willingness to grit my teeth and prove you wrong so there was reason for concern.
Fortunately he seems to be smarter than me so I think he’ll avoid some of the stupidity I got into…fingers crossed.
Is it coincidence that My Silver Lining is playing now.
I hear a voice calling
Calling out for me
These shackles I’ve made in an attempt to be free
Be it for reason, be it for love
I won’t take the easy road
Makes me think of my old friend Jack, he’d have something to say about this for certain.