Not so sure about the post from yesterday or some of the others but been working on some new stuff because it is what you do when you want to improve.
But I wonder if those of you who have read the million words I have put down could find me if I was dropped amongst the people.
If I was just another face in the crowd could you pick my words out and use those to identify me.
Do you know my tricks and my voice well enough to distinguish me from the rest.
Would you sense my presence or take a systematic approach to sluffing through the stuff that stood in the way.
Or would I remain invisible and hidden.
Some might suggest I was never hidden, but ignored and others might suggest a combination of the two.
Could be one, could be the other, could be karma, could be coincidence.
That is plenty of “could be’s” which makes me wonder if there is a difference between them and the “may be’s.”
Sort of like a kiss on the lips and one on the cheek–you always know the difference between lips.
One set is correct and the others…not. Or so Brother Pablo has told me.
Stood in the doc’s office listening to the quick report planning out my response and came home to hit the weights.
Didn’t feel a hundred percent and had a number of roadblocks but I set my intention and called out to whatever lies beyond sight.
Can’t tell you if that worked or if my arms suddenly remembered what they used to do but the weights got easier and for a moment I stopped the clock.
Can’t do it every time or every day, but I can still do it and sometimes that belief is enough.
That idea that you still have a little more left inside and you haven’t scraped the bottom of the barrel because you haven’t reached it.
So you dig and you dig and figure out you just opened a door and have begun to tear down a wall that has been up for years.
Got to keep pounding away at it because if you give up too soon all that you have gained can disappear in the blink of an eye.
Need Some Grit
Got some stuff coming up this week that might test me and I am not in the mood to be tested any more than I have been.
Somewhere my old man is shaking his head at me, “life is rough all over.”
Can’t tell you how many times I heard that or how sometimes it could make my head explode because it sounded dismissive.
It was as if my words didn’t matter but now I hear it differently.
Now I hear the truth in it as well the part that infuriated me. Now I just dig in and go harder if need be, or take a breath and figure out another angle to attack whatever it is.
If I had my druthers there are two things that I would ask for. Two that would make a big difference in my mood and approach.
Neither are impossible to secure, but there are some hurdles to overcome.
Which is to say the prize is not going to be handed to me but neither is it necessarily going to be kept from me either.
I feel the change in the air, an electric charge and a sense of possibility leading to opportunity.
Time to dig in, grab on and do what I do best.
Maybe you’ll find some of the 10 million words tonight.