The email asked me if I was open to relocation and I said there was no doubt I was.
“Would you move to Texas and if so, how fast can you do so?”
I said depending on circumstances I could potentially move very quickly. That was 2006 and though I did end up moving to Texas it didn’t happen as fast I thought it might.
But it did happen.
Sometimes a man moves heaven and earth.
And sometimes when you look back at what was written you realize the stories we tell ourselves may not be as accurate as we like to believe they are.
And maybe you take a moment to write something based upon what you read that fits with memory and with the present.
Sometimes you go for the sort of honesty you almost fear to speak aloud for reasons you don’t have to explain because you damn well know why.
Maybe Donnie Mac is correct about the crossroads and you don’t have to be inside June to know the truth.
Though you might wish you were because it would provide a different sort of excuse but even then you’d know.
There are those who ask me if I believe in fate and or karma and I nod my head in assent.
I do.
Somethings happen for reasons we cannot explain but that doesn’t mean we have no choices.
We can still decide to step into the pool or to dive in. We can still dive in and choose to come out.
What we cannot do is figure out what lies beneath the surface without being willing to hold our breath and swim for a moment.
Ask me to share one of the great secrets of my life and I’ll smile and tell you it has been a willingness to go for it.
Not everyone believes it because I can be persnickety, ornery and inflexible but none of those mean I won’t deviate from a path if I choose to.
It just means my proclivity is to do it on my time.
It means I am willing to write my story and to not have it be based upon what is socially acceptable to others.
Sometimes you have to be willing to push the needle and to do things differently than others might wish.
Sometimes you have to hold out your hand and say submit.
Can’t know unless you try and can’t live without trying.
Not truly.
Not deeply.
Not in the way you want to so that you gain peace of mind and not pieces of.
So you write the story down and see what transpires to fill the gaps. Maybe you are always alone and apart.
Maybe you are always looking at circumstances being used as an excuse for not going harder and deeper.
And maybe you are not confronted with that but with what happens when opportunity grabs you by the balls and says “your move.”
Don’t fool yourself into thinking it is an either/or situation or that anything is impossible because every time you were certain over and done had been reached life showed you one more way.
It is all about the stories we tell ourselves and what we write down upon the secret places of our collective hearts inside our own secret gardens.
