Somewhere between the blood work and the nurse telling me about a test I heard Arnold speaking and gave a short chuckle.
“Surely, I am not pregnant.”
The nurse didn’t laugh so I didn’t do my own version of Arnold’s line and went about my business.
Did a pretty good job of focusing on my work until I got the call about scheduling the test.
“Mr. Wilner, you’ll need to fast for at least 8 hours and you cannot eat or drink anything. No water and no coffee.”
“No brussels sprouts either right.”
The voice on the other side said that was correct and I made a mental note to tell people I have been given medical direction to never eat them again.
The earliest appointment was Friday at 1 PM, right after four Webexes and during the fifth.
I almost said yes but moved it to Tuesday because it would create fewer work issues.
Reminded myself that if it is nothing it doesn’t matter and I’ll be grateful for saving myself some aggravation.
And if it is something, well why not give myself something else to be aggravated about because I do like doing things the hard way.
Spent the next few hours mostly focused but occasionally distracted by whether I would hear about the blood work from Wednesday.
Would it push the doc to say Tuesday was unnecessary or to tell me to move faster?
They never called so who knows.
I am playing around with using this as my theme song, at least for some of these coming appointments.
You can decide if it is dramatic or I am just being insouciant.
Could be kind of interesting if I walked around with a Greek chorus to comment upon life and circumstances.
You know if people make comments it could be kind of useful to have someone speak. Cue dad telling me he is tired of my nunsense. I’d give much to hear that now.
He’d probably use it about numbskulls like Josh Mandel who is calling for people to arm themselves against the tyranny of masks.
I might have to talk to Mandel about changing his name because he is clearly no repping the name well.
Still haven’t figured out how we reached a point where the confluence of idiots and celebration of stupidity would be so damn rampant.
It is not just in the red states but the blue too. America is proving to be dumber and dumberer.
In good conscience I can’t say it hasn’t always been like this but social media has made it easier for the idiots to find each other.
Hopefully it is balanced out by people finding soul mates, partners and collaborators who create things that improve humanity.
Hard to say because it is hard to find the numbers so that we can build benchmarks and models we can use to measure.
Or maybe it is not hard, maybe that is my perception because I haven’t thought about it much.
Too busy hoping the fools defenestrate themselves I guess.
Havel havalim-Vanity of Vanities
Somewhere in the midst of it I hear voices from my time in Jerusalem quoting Koheleth and the echoes of those moments reach into the present.
הֲבֵ֤ל הֲבָלִים֙ אָמַ֣ר קֹהֶ֔לֶת הֲבֵ֥ל הֲבָלִ֖ים הַכֹּ֥ל הָֽבֶל
“Vanity of vanities, said Koheleth; vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”
So much of life is absurd and we place so much weight upon that which doesn’t deserve the attention and energy it takes.
Certainly I am guilty and though I know many things I still find myself walking through familiar woods and searching for the entrance to the kingdom again.
Because when you have been to the place where fire meets water it is impossible not to try to visit it again.
טמַה־שֶּֽׁהָיָה֙ ה֣וּא שֶׁיִּֽהְיֶ֔ה וּמַ֨ה־שֶּׁנַּֽעֲשָׂ֔ה ה֖וּא שֶׁיֵּֽעָשֶׂ֑ה וְאֵ֥ין כָּל־חָדָ֖שׁ תַּ֥חַת הַשָּֽׁמֶשׁ
“What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.”
I remember talking about existentialism and questioning so many things but today it reads differently to me.
Today, I don’t hear and see weariness like I once did. Today it resonates with a sense of hope that I didn’t get before.
The sun will rise and the sun will set and forever long we are here walking with our eyes open we will get to see and hopefully appreciate it.
It is a heck of a time, but it is nothing that hasn’t happened before.