My primary care physician congratulated me on progress in one area and talked to me about issues in another.
Told me there might be an issue with one of my other organs and not one you could refer to as a flute.
“I want you to have those labs checked out by Doctor Sweetcheeks so that we know what is going on. Experience says it is probably something ‘nothing-you-need-to-worry-about’ but we can’t say for certain without verifying it.”
Nodded my head and made arrangements for Sweetcheeks to check it out and tell me whether I ought to be concerned or if I can go celebrate.
I’m So Alone
I don’t expect to find out there is anything wrong with me beyond my twisted sense of humor and a couple of odds and ends.
Won’t worry about being wrong unless and until I am told I ought to be concerned. Can’t outrun time forever and can’t avoid some things but I don’t have to roll over…yet.
It is a funny thing in the not a laughing way how alone you can be with your health. It is not something I can expect anyone to fix or improve without my full participation and even that is no guarantee.
But if you look at priorities and life I am in very good shape compared to those in Kabul and Afghanistan in general.
No one is threatening to stone or shoot me for not following their religious precepts. Though to be fair there are many in Texas and around the U.S. who wouldn’t complain if we turned into more of a Christian theocracy.
And there are many here who act in ways that are not in the best interests of society and their actions create issues of concern.
But I don’t worry about daily life and how to get by in the same way they do over there. Even with concerns about Delta I have remained confident that my family will have access to medical care and booster Covid shots if needed.
The things I worry about are still serious. There are legitimate concerns about breakthrough cases of Covid and whether schools are as safe as they ought to be for our children.
There are legitimate concerns about the impact of the pandemic but they are all mitigated by confidence this too will pass.
And though I could be wrong it is still not as worrisome as roving bands of zealots banging on doors in search of unmarried women and people they consider traitors or threats.
Though to be fair when I think of January 6 I am reminded there are bad folks among us too and the line between what we consider civilized and savage is thinner than we like.
Still things are pretty damn good and though I may be alone it could be much worse than it is.
Updated a different space and thought about whether it needed more work or if I ought to let it stand.
Because sometimes I wonder what happens if whatever post I am working on is the last one I put up.
Will it be significant, meaningful and important or will it be fluff?
Will it be read and understood as I wish for it to be or analyzed and misinterpreted?
Should I care about either knowing that no matter what I do some posts will not reflect what I wish, want and or desire in both the short and long term.
Should I care knowing that I cannot control how people understand or misunderstand it.
All we can do is try to post our best material every time and know sometimes we’ll exceed the mark and sometimes we’ll fall short.
It is frustrating, but it is reality.